Drunken Irish Whiskey Review: Glendalough Irish Whiskey: Sherry Cask Finish Poitin

 

(our guy is the one on the right)

Intro

Sit your ass down and get ready for a little history lesson. If you’re not interested, skip to the next section of the review, then go throw your laptop out the window because you’re a moron. Everyone knows about Irish Whiskey. Despite your personal feelings on it, the history of Irish Whiskey is outstanding. Ireland’s oldest spirit, and many believe it to be the first “version” of whiskey in the world, is known as Poitin. Not sure how exactly you are supposed to pronounce it, but I’ve just been referring to it as poo-tang. This spirit dates back to the sixth century. And if that isn’t enough, it was outlawed in 1661 by that bastard Charles II, and wasn’t legalized or really seen again until 1997. Who knows what made this incredibly badass, outlawed spirit not rear it’s beautiful head again until the mid 90s. Maybe it was the ripped jeans, Dave Matthews Band, and the steroid era of baseball. We’ll never know, but what we do know is this: when you pop a bottle of Glendalough Irish Whiskey / Poitin, you are opening up a bottle of history, and the whiskey certainly speaks to such history.

How to Drink It

This ended up being a bit of a no-brainer. Taking shots of Glendalough Irish Poitin didn’t quite make much sense. Almost like you’re opening up an amazing book and just reading the last page immediately. While that (just like alcohol), may help you get by in high school, it doesn’t quite do the trick now.  This whiskey is also a little bit hard to mix. When you find the right balance, however, it can be absolutely incredible. There are a lot of more pungent flavors in this whiskey, so you’re going to need to balance that with the correct fruit flavors. But the real way to drink this stuff is just full strempf. No ice, no nothing. Just sip up the history, and let your Irish flag fly.

Flavor

Here we go. Glendalough Irish Poitin has an extremely deep flavor profile. Apparently they incorporate the use of beets to the aging process, and you can definitely taste it sort of on the “edges” of your sip: meaning right when you sip it, and right when it goes down. Dwight Shrute would be proud indeed. The main idea of this whiskey is its longevity. I almost promise you that you won’t like it after the first sip. It’s a little weird, and honestly doesn’t taste like any other whiskey I’ve ever had in my life. It’s incredibly unique. But give it 5-6 more sips/glasses, and you’ll be hooked. It’s a complete wildcard. Something you can’t predict, but also something you just can’t get enough of. I could sit here and tell you about their aging process and flavors, but honestly you just need to go out there and try it for yourself, and let us know what you think. Because our minds are still blown.

Wrap Up

Just go buy it. You know the guy at the bar who tells shitty stories and always ends with “you had to be there”? That’s me right now. I know. I hate it and you hate it. But there’s really nothign else I can say other than that you need to try it for yourself. If you’re like me, you’re on the bandwagon completely, and I will never not have a bottle of this stuff in my arsenal. While I love the stuff, you might hate it. Either way, you’re going to have a strong reaction to it. It’s legitimately the Charlie Kelly of whiskies. Kind of crazy, a little weird, but it’s the wildcard that you absolutely need at all times. Never know what kind of crazy things will happen when you have a wildcard on your side. One minute you’re robbing a gas station blind, the next your breaks are cut:

 

 

 

$35.00

Apparently Jon Hamm Was in Rehab In Connecticut, Researching a Role

 

 

OS ANGELES: “Mad Men” star Jon Hamm has completed a stint in rehab for alcohol addiction, shortly before the final season of the hit TV series airs, a publicist said Wednesday.

Hamm, who plays dashing, hard-drinking New York ad man Don Draper, checked into a high-end facility in Connecticut at the end of February for 30 days, according to the TMZ celebrity news website.

“With the support of his longtime partner Jennifer Westfeldt, (Hamm) recently completed treatment for his struggle with alcohol addiction,” said publicist Annett Wolf in a statement.

“They have asked for privacy and sensitivity going forward,” she added.

“Mad Men” will come to an end this year after a near-eight-year run met with wide critical acclaim. The final season premieres on USscreens on April 5.

The success of the series contributed to the current wave of expensive, high-quality TV dramas borrowing production techniques — and, increasingly, actors — from the cinema industry.

Via Dailystar

 

First of all, anyone who actually thinks Jon Hamm was in rehab to cure an alcohol addiction is a complete moron. Have you ever seen Mad Men? He was obviously just researching the part. He’s probably been doing this since season one and this was just the first time anyone decided to look for anyone important in Connecticut. Sly move. It makes sense on so many levels. There’s no possible way anyone could act as well as he does playing the part of Don Draper: the alcoholic mess that you love deep down as a viewer. He does it to a T. And like I said, the fact that he was in Connecticut supports this theory, because that’s the last place anyone would ever look.

On another note, doesn’t every male want to be exactly like Don Draper? Maybe hold it on the horrible childhood stuff, but give me more of the boozing incessantly at work, cutting off all relationships whenever they get too commitment-laden slash real, and bang everyone. My main gripe with his character is why hasn’t he gotten with Joan yet? Or has he? He’s always treated her with respect, so that makes me think that he definitely has not gotten with her as of now. This better change.

Hard Liquor May Start Being Sold in Florida Supermarkets

 

 

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Hard alcohol could be getting a spot next to beer and wine at the grocery store. However, the proposal is getting mixed reviews in the Capitol.

Keeping liquor away from the lettuce in the grocery aisle has been on the books for 80 years. Representative Greg Steube’s proposal would change that.

“It’s been something that’s been in place since 1935, obviously we should go back and see if it’s still necessary,” said the Sarasota Republican.

Currently, grocers or convenience stores need to have a separate door to go into the main store, where you could buy beer, and the liquor store, where you could buy other hard alcohol.

But the Senate isn’t as ready to tear the wall down. Sen. Kelli Stargel filed an amendment that would still keep the liquor store separate from other stores.

“My opposition to the bill as a whole, was that I don’t want to have liquor store, hard liquor on the shelves in the regular store. I think they need to be a separate liquor store. I think this bill accomplishes that, it is still a separate liquor store, it just gives the convenience of a door,” said Sen. Stragel (R-Lakeland).

Her proposal would allow a direct door from a grocery or convenience store to the liquor store instead of having to go outside.

“They watered it down, I mean, basically what they did was allow a door in the wall, but staff’s interpretation of it is that it wouldn’t allow you to go in there and purchase it after you’ve been in the main store,” said Rep. Steube.

Grocery giant Publix has strongly opposed mixing liquor and groceries – they run separate stores for each. Independent liquor stores are also worried repealing the current law could cut into their sales.

The Senate’s version of the bill has two more stops before it could get a vote on the Senate floor.

Via WCTV News

 

Huh. Must be nice, Florida. You guys are trying to put Johnny Walker next to the english muffins, and we’re stuck here up north not even being able to buy beer in supermarkets. Next thing you know, Boston is going to be banning those fake cherries because they’re too “alcohol-related.” I’ve been ranting about this a lot lately, but Boston’s liquor laws are such a god damn joke. We can’t stay out past 1, we can’t buy booze past 10 PM, and we can’t buy anything alcohol related in a supermarket. The fact that they now allow people to buy booze before noon on Sundays is like a huge fucking deal around here. It’s pathetic. But when I think about it, better booze laws does not do enough for me to make me want to live in Florida.  That’s the state that needs shitty liquor laws. They’re all old, half dead, or fucking crazy down there. So how come they get to do all the fun shit?

PS- what a fucking picture there. Got it off of their website, but woof. Way to clipart, Florida.

 

The World’s Best Single Malt Whiskey Comes From Kavalan Distillery In Taiwan

 

 

Whiskey connoisseurs in Scotland and Japan may have shed a few tears into their snifters recently.

The World Whiskies Awards named the world’s top whiskeys over the weekend, and the honor for the best single malt went to a distillery in Taiwan. The whiskey-tasting competition judged Kavalan Solist Vinho Barrique Single Cask Strength as the top in that category for 2015.

Read MoreSingle malt from Taiwan shakes up whiskey industry
“It’s like Bourbon-infused milk chocolate,” the judges wrote about the winning single malt.
The competition has been rating whiskeys by region and method—such as blended or flavored whiskeys—since 2007.

Since then, Scotland has brought home four single malt awards, and Japan three, according to Whisky Magazine. A single malt whiskey from Australia won last year.

Kavalan is just one of two whiskey distillers in Taiwan. It only began making the liquor in 2006.

Via NBC News

 

I’m completely torn on this one. Part of me wants to say it’s bullshit that some off-distillery in Taiwan who only began making liquor like yesterday can win this award, especially with it apparently tasting like bourbon mixed with chocolate milk? I don’t think I could describe what puke tastes like any better. But fuck it. I love that they won this. Only started making booze in 2006? Psht, Hendrix only started playing guitar at age 16, and 8 years later he was the greatest who ever lived. This Taiwan distillery is the classic whiskey underdog story (there is no classic whiskey underdog story). They probably don’t even know that what they made is whiskey, let alone that it’s any good. Because the highest of the high end whiskey reviewers look for weird shit. You could serve them distilled dog crap in two different glasses in two different colors, and they’d hate one and be obsessed with the other. But props to Kavalan, you guys deserve it. You scrappy undergods, you.

 

PS- caught a typo at the end there where I almost wrote “scrappy undergods” but couldn’t resist keeping it. Kavalan, you just went from a whiskey distillery with a cinderella story to the devil’s sidekick.

Every Country’s Most Popular Beer is a Joke

 

Let’s do a little exercise here and focus only on North America for a second. Are you fucking kidding me, Canada? Budweiser? Could you be any more obsessed with America? Canada is just that nerdy kid in the hallway who sneaks around listening to what the cool kids say they’re into, then he just repeats it in front of his friends. And he follows these kids around all day even though he gets shoved into a hamper every single morning in gym class. Just can’t get enough of it. Hop off, Canada.

Big News: North Dakota Might Allow Booze Sales Before Noon on Sundays

BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) – North Dakota’s Senate has reconsidered and passed a measure that would allow residents to begin buying booze at restaurants on Sunday morning.

The bipartisan measure would allow alcohol sales on Sundays to begin at 11 a.m. instead of noon.

The Senate approved the measure 27-18 on Friday. A day earlier, the bill failed by a single vote.

Language in the bill was amended and clarified to ensure that off-sale liquor sales are not allowed.

The measure now goes back to the House, which had approved it earlier.

Proponents of the measure say North Dakota’s restrictions put cities bordering other states at a disadvantage because those states allow for earlier booze sales on Sundays.

Via The Washington Post

 

Oh hot damn North Dakota! Welcome to the party! Let me tell you, we just legalized pre-noon Sunday booze sales up here and Boston, and things have never been the same. Now when you wake up on Sundays, it’s a fucking party in the streets every single week. Almost like Mardi Gras, but better. That’s the mark of a true party town that allows their adults to party like adults. Fuck waiting until noon, everyone knows that boozing up at 11:01 AM on Sundays is where it’s at. You’ll never regret this move, North Dakota.

 

cue the people who don’t understand sarcasm and yelling at me in……now.

All of These Countries Drink More Than Ireland Every Year

 

According to the World Health Organization, Tajikistan, Russia and China are the top three consumers of alcohol in the world. Ireland, along with Germany, came in fourth place with 14.7 liters of pure alcohol consumption per drinker in a year. Tajikistan, the country with the world’s heaviest drinkers, consumed 30.3 liters of alcohol per drinker per year.

 

China, whose economic growth has created a thriving middle class with disposable income, has seen an increase in consumption from 2.5 liters of alcohol a year per capita in 1978 to 6.7 liters in 2010. As half of the Chinese population are teetotallers, this means that among those in China who do drink, the average person drinks 15.1 liters of pure alcohol each year, reports qz.com.

Drinkers in the UK consumed 13.8 liters of alcohol a year, while drinkers in the United States consumed 13.3 liters.

The medical journal The Lancet reports: “The social and health issues related to alcohol use and misuse, such as liver and cardiovascular diseases, mental disorders, cancers, violence, and transport and unintentional injuries, have been largely neglected.”

Via Irish Central

So let’s get this straight. Tjwhateveristan drinks the most out of any country in the world, and it’s not even close. Ireland clocks in at number four, tied with Germany. Rounding out the 2-3 spot is Russia and China respectively. I don’t think this is surprising at all. Of course some horrible country in the Middle East drinks the most. How do you think they’re all ok with banging goats? They’re just hammered. And Russia/China are communist, so they also need to drink a lot. So it makes sense that developed countries like Ireland and Germany come in fourth. But I think the fact that they’re in fourth is way more impressive than any of the countries in the 1-3 spots. Why? Because they have freedom and electricity, yet they still love to booze like crazy. That is why the Irish are the Irish. Sure you might run into the occasional potato famine there, but other than that, life is good, and the Guinness flows.

Iowa Gas Stations Want to Start Installing Beer Taps

 

 

DES MOINES, Iowa — Move over slushy machines. Gas stations and convenience stores are making room for a more adult beverage dispenser.

Draft beer taps where customers can have 64-ounce growlers filled with beer to go have been installed in dozens of gas stations, grocery stores and other retailers around the country.

About 35 states allow retailers to sell the refillable, half-gallon glass jugs known as growlers, according to the Brewers Association, a national trade group, and several states, including Florida, Iowa and Missouri are considering laws to allow the practice.

“It’s definitely becoming more popular,” said Paul Gatza, director of the Brewers Association, a national industry group. “The American public wants to be able to control their experience. They want to be able to take their beer home and pour as much or little as they want.”

Some brewers, though, are skeptical about putting their beer on tap in gas stations and corner stores, and wholesalers have voiced opposition to growler-friendly laws, which they say undermine tested alcohol distribution systems.

Still, retailers are eager to tap into the nation’s growing thirst for craft beer.

According to the Brewers Association, craft beer sales grew 22% in 2014 to $19.6 billion, although a portion of the increase was due to a looser definition of craft breweries.

One of the first retailers to embrace growlers was Sunoco. The fuel and convenience store company opened its first “Craft Beer Exchange” in 2011 in a Buffalo, N.Y., gas station.

Today, Sunoco fills growlers in 65 convenience stores in New York and South Carolina. Each has six to 12 beers on tap ranging from $8 to $20 per half-gallon. Customers can bring in an empty growler or buy one for about $4. Employees trained to work the taps fill and seal the growlers.

In the craft beer-loving Pacific Northwest, The Growler Guys has opened 10 franchises. The company’s original location in a Shell gas station in Bend, Ore., has more than 30 beers on tap.

In Irvine, Calif., a company called The Growler Station manufactures equipment that uses carbon-dioxide to keep beer fresh longer in growlers. Since 2012, the company has installed its patented growler-filling system in more than 100 gas stations, grocery stores and other shops.

“I don’t think it’s going to be a flash in the pan,” co-founder Tony Lane said. “We’re trying to change the way beer is distributed.”

But some brewers remain skeptical. Brewers guilds in Colorado and California have voiced opposition to retailers filling growlers, Gatza said. The concern is that a dirty keg line or an unwashed growler could result in tainted beer that reflects poorly on the brewer.

Dave Ropte, president of the Iowa Brewers Guild and co-founder of 515 Brewing in suburban Des Moines, said he is open to convenience stores selling growlers but would prefer customers buy beer directly from breweries.

“There’s a reason gas stations and grocery stores want to do it,” he said. “They can buy a keg a heck of a lot cheaper than they can buy bottles so they can make a lot more money selling growlers.”

Beverage distributors have also voiced opposition to laws expanding where and how growlers can be sold.

“You’re not selling something like popsicles,” said Mike Heller, a lobbyist for the Iowa Wholesalers Association. “You’re selling something that has a lot of taxation and a lot of controls on how it can be sold and distributed and we think those controls are good public policy dating back to Prohibition.”

Via USA Today

This is awesome. Do you, Iowa. I love the innovative angle they’re taking here. You don’t have to bullshit me, guys. Don’t spoon feed me the lines about “changing the industry” and that this is because consumers want to bring their beer home and pour it out or something. Be real. You want to get hammered at gas stations. That’s all! Just say it! Doesn’t it feel good saying it out loud? Hey I agree. Every time I fill up at the gas station all I can think about is a nice foamy beer fresh from the tap. But instead all I can do is buy a red bull and get back in my car. This would be the ultimate experience. Gas stations already provide you with so many vital life amenities: fuel, appetizers (chips, pretzels), dinner (taquitos, gas station hot dogs), dessert (twinkies and candy), and now beer! Couldn’t be any more of a one stop shop.