Drunken Whiskey Review: Woodford Reserve Master’s Collection: Pinot Noir Finish


Woodford Reserve Distillery (or if you want to be technical slash call it by a shittier name) the Brown-Foreman Distillery basically puts out a unique whiskey every year under the Woodford Reserve Special Edition Label. In November of 2014, they went with a bold take on whiskey: to mix it with some wine. In theory it sounds great- the wine and whiskey communities overlap in tons of ways. Both care about aging, both care deeply about the ingredients and where they’re from, and whiskey and wine fans alike can appreciate subtleties and taste notes. So what they did was take the full strength, fully matured Woodford Reserve and age it in Pinot Noir wine barrels for another 10 months. The end result was about 30,000 bottles of 90-proof whiskey-wine. Needless to say, we were very intrigued and needed to give it a good ol’ review.


I gotta be honest here. Have you ever gotten one of those weird colds/flus in the summer? Where you maybe had to drink some cherry cough syrup to get rid of the cough, and then walked outside in the heat because since you’re already sick, you might as well make it a party with some more cough syrup. Only issue there is you begin to stink like weird sweaty cherry? That’s oddly what this whiskey smells like when you pour it in a glass. And everyone knows that your taste is directly connected to your smell. So the beginning experience of drinking this stuff isn’t great. Then the overall taste of this bourbon is legitimately just a mixture of shitty wine and weird whiskey. The combination of both takes away from both- it neither tastes like good wine or like good whiskey. You know those weird kids back in middle school who loved to mix sodas together from the soda machine? They’d come back to your table with a mixture of Mountain Dew and Cherry Coke and tell you it was amazing- except when you tried it it tasted like piss? It’s a little harsher of an example but that’s not far off from this flavor. And from Woodford, I was shocked.

How to Drink It

The more I think about it, I might have just been missing the bigger picture. Didn’t see the trees through the forest. The best way to drink this whiskey is to save it for when you’re sick. How did people back in the 40’s stave off the plague? They didn’t. But how do people in 2017 stave off a cold? You drink some cherry flavored whiskey/wine/cough syrup and go about your life. I think I just convinced myself that this shit is amazing, it’s just severely mismarketed. This shouldn’t be in packies. This should be in CVS’s across the country.

Final Thoughts

There are some things in life that need to be separated. I guess whiskey and wine are one of them. What’s the obsession with using whiskey barrels for beer and wine barrels for whiskey? Can we all just use our own shit? I have yet to taste a bourbon-beer or a whiskey-wine that doesn’t suck. Really thought Woodford would be the people to pull it off, but this just flat out misses the mark. Unless you’re sick, in which case it creates a nice double jeopardy situation for you where you’re sick, add in gross whiskey, two rights make a left, you’re healthy again.









Drunken Brew Review: Lord Hobo Brewing Company Boomsauce IPA


Ok. We need to kick this drunken review off by addressing the absurd names being thrown around in the headline there. Let’s start with the brewery themselves. Lord Hobo. Comes in hot, forces you to buy pretty much anything they’re putting out. It also happens to be quite the interesting google search, especially when you forget to put the keyword “brewery” in at the end. Lord Hobo Brewing Company hails from the greatest state in the country, Massachusetts. Apparently it’s run by a guy named Daniel Lanigan, who used to be a bar owner but now is dabbling in the fine art of brewing. He’s opened and established several great bars in Boston and also in Baltimore, and now he’s running a gigantic brewery out of Woburn, MA, and this Boomsauce IPA is his flagship brew. So yes, we did buy this beer solely because of it’s name. But your third grade teacher who told you not to judge a book by its cover also told you that picking your nose in public is wrong. And we all know that’s the stupidest shit we’ve ever heard. So let’s get into it.

How to Drink It

To be completely honest, Lord Hobo Boomsauce IPA is really one of those beers that should be drank at a bar and at a bar only. Ordering this on tap and having it in a real glass brings out the ridiculous flavors that are going on in it. Pretty much your 1 way to go here. But 1A is definitely to buy it at a packie (that means liquor store) in the tall boy cans. The cans themselves along with this IPAs astounding drinkability will allow you to drink this bad boy while playing some low-key drinking games. Think card games, something along the lines of the lovingly named “Fuck the Dealer” or “Irish Poker” or something like “Horserace.” Or if you’re playing any kind of video game drinking game (we recommend Mario Party). The bottom line is this: there’s enough of a flavor depth to want to drink this at a bar and enjoy it, but it’s drinkable enough and high enough in alcohol, 7.4%, to help you out in your pre-game this weekend.


Lord Hobo Boomsauce IPA takes all the normal flavors you’d think about in an IPA: hops, floral, bitterness, and seemingly runs it through a filter. Don’t get me wrong, I have no idea what or how they do it, but it tastes like it’s purified somehow. Makes some other IPAs taste like tap water while you’re drinking bottled. Which is what leads me to the main point: it’s fucking drinkable. If you read our reviews often, we like to get drunk. This means that when we have some of these high-octane IPAs that fill you up after six sips, we don’t like it, because that means we cannot get drunk off of it. So when an IPA comes along that lends itself to normal drinking, let’s just say there’s some movement in the pants area. Only other flavors to add is a scent of pine and an amazing aftertaste. You know that the brewer’s homebrewing background really comes out in spades with this Lord Hobo Boomsauce IPA.

To keep it fair, the only negatives I can find with this beer is the price itself. It’s definitely overpriced at $15.00 for a 4 pack, but let’s hope this gigantic brewery can help lower the costs down a bit in the future. Other than that, if you don’t like strong IPAs than you shouldn’t be drinking this. If you do, we think you’ll love the drinkability and the flavor depth.

Wrap Up

Lord Hobo Brewing Company is a well-named brewery that seems to have a bright future ahead of it. And when they came up with the name “Boomsauce” for their IPA, let’s just say they had a lot to live up to. And they did. If they can work on lowering their price, the sky seems to be the limit for this beer and the brewery itself. Great brew.


Drunken Whiskey Review: Kirkland Canadian Whiskey


Listen, Kirkland is our boy. He really won us over with his 1 Liter of pretty damn good bourbon basically for free, and now I suddenly find a 1.75 L of Kirkland Canadian whiskey for $20. Talk about buying wholesale.  Now it’s important to take this price into account when reviewing this whiskey. This shit is dirt cheap. If you have a party coming up, or if you’re just about ready to do some anger drinking, pick yourself up a handle of this stuff and you’ll be good to go.

How to Drink It

Shots. Take shots of this stuff. I’ve always thought that the best thing about Canadian whiskey is how perfect it is for taking shots, and Kirkland Canadian whiskey is no different. This stuff doesn’t hip check you on the way down, it more pats you on the back and says “oh I’m sorry eh” while gently consoling you into getting extremely hammered. The initial taste when taking a shot is a little rough, but just think of Canadians in Saskatchawan ice fishing and you’ll be relaxed and good to go. We did try this whiskey in sort of an impromptu Manhattan Toronto, and I was pleasantly surprised by the results.  It actually mixes pretty damn well for a Canadian whiskey. I don’t really recommend drinking it full strempf, but if you’re one of those hockey players who just smiles when they lose 14 teeth after taking a slapper to the dome, you probably like to live dangerously, so go ahead ya loon.


To get a little more specific on flavor, you first smell sweetness when bringing it up to your mouth. Nothing too extreme, because there’s still a spice smell in there, but again it’s more of a Canadian apology than a punch in the gut. On your tongue, I definitely tasted more sweetness, hockey pucks, peppermint, chipped ice, and warm spice. There’s a legitimate kick to it right when it goes down your gullet, but it’s all worth it in the end. The finish actually lasts a while which is nice, so you can keep the train moving while you pour yourself another shot, ya hoser.

Wrap Up

Kirkland, you dirty dawg you. We couldn’t really figure out where this shit was from, but we’re going to assume it’s some spinoff of Crown Royal. I even tried calling Kirkland himself, but he swiftly told me to go fuck myself in a kind, wholesale way. That’s pretty much the story of this whiskey. It provides a nice kick and will definitely get you drunk, but it basically comes with a kind Canadian farm guy who follows you around apologizing for shit. Can definitely get annoying, but it’s actually kinda nice. Definitely a must buy for any party or for anyone whose jimmies tingle when buying wholesale.


 Screen Shot 2014-10-30 at 12.26.52 PM $20.00/ 1.75 Liter

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Drunken Whiskey Review: Redemption Rye

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Redemption Rye is a big, 92-proof straight rye whiskey. It’s aged for about 2-3 years, and is bottled by Bardstown Barrel Selections, inc. You’ve seen it in the liquor stores. It has a very distinct bottle design that does a great job of standing out among regular whiskey bottles. Now if you like rye whiskey, you better not be wearing sweatpants: because this bad boy is about 95% rye. So hide that boner, and let’s get down to business, shall we?

How to Drink It

This is a premium drink when it comes to mixing. Aging it 2-3 years really helps it hit that perfect mark where it can shine through in your Manhattan or Old Fashioned, but also not completely take over the drink. Pretty much any Prohibition-style drink is perfect for this bad boy. It’s a great excuse to wear Sherlock Holmes hats and suspenders and get drunk in your bathtub. That’s what they did in the bathtubs after making their moonshine, right? Never mind. Rye was the original ingredient in most Prohibition drinks, and was later substituted for bourbon. So take pride in knowing that you’re drinking a true American original.

Redemption Rye Whiskey also goes well full strempf, and especially if you enjoy the spice notes in your whiskey. We also noticed that drinking this whiskey on the rocks helps add some nice flavor once some of the ice melts. Surprisingly, this whiskey is pretty decent to take shots with if you’re feeling like a 1920-s era superman, but overall we definitely recommend making some badass Prohibition drinks with this stuff.


Right off the bat, you get that rye spiciness. That spiciness lasts throughout the drink, and finishes with a pretty clean aftertaste. Big picture, this whiskey tastes like leather. Like if you’ve ever been in one of those weirdo leather stores, it pretty much tastes like that. Redemption Rye uses about 95% rye in this whiskey, and you can fucking tell. That spicy rye and some hidden balanced sweetness makes for a pretty great whiskey.

Wrap Up

We’re about two things here at Whiskey on the House: one is rye whiskey, and the other is not spending a shit load of money to have some good whiskey. This Redemption Rye really hits the mark on both counts. We highly recommend this stuff if you like to make your own drinks, but if you’re looking for strictly a sipping whiskey, this would only satisfy you if you’re a rye enthusiast because of the 95% rye content. Definitely pick up  a bottle of this stuff and make it a cornerstone of your home bar. Just don’t throw a Prohibition era party. Nobody likes those, and nobody likes you if you throw one.

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                         $25.00/ 750 mL

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Drunken Whiskey Review: Eagle Rare Bourbon Whiskey


You’ve probably seen Eagle Rare Bourbon at your local liquor store and/or at a bar recently. It’s god damn everywhere. And you know what else? You’ve probably done a quick hop over to the Google Machine to try and figure out if it’s any good. You’ve probably taken a gander at some websites reviewing this whiskey, and you’ve probably closed your browser with a scowel on your face. No, not because you’re just plain ugly and that’s your everyday resting ugly face, but because you haven’t read Whiskey on the House’s Drunken Whiskey Review of Eagle Rare Bourbon yet, dumbass. So pour yourself a glass if you have it in front of you, or if you’re in the liquor store right now trying to figure out whether or not to buy it, read on.

Eagle Rare is a Kentucky Straight Bourbon coming out of the Buffalo Trace Distillery, where it’s both distilled and bottled. It’s 90-proof, aged 10 years, and is relatively cheap at $30 bucks for a 750 mL bottle.


How to Drink It

Listen to me right here. Drink this shit full strempf or on the rocks or go the hell home. This whiskey is a lot like Gronk of the Pats. Looking at him, he’s fucking huge and powerful. Big dude. But then you see that he’s really just the guy giggling at someone saying “69” at the party somewhere, so you know he has a soft side. And what do the Patriots do with Gronk? Belichick tells him simple instructions and doesn’t try to overdo anything. “Gronk go up, gronk get ball, come down with ball, Gronk hug Brady. Got it, Gronk?” That’s a word for word excerpt from last week’s gameplan session. That’s exactly what Eagle Rare is. Fucking awesome at what it does, but don’t get fancy with it and mix it in a drink. Give it some ice or take it full strempf and you’ll be good to go. Ice and/or full strempf lets the power of this whiskey shine through without trying to make it in to something it’s not.


Ok so this is going to sound real strange. But this whiskey tastes like the whiskey that I’d imagine farmers and other men’s men’s men drink on the ranch. Like the kind of whiskey that Uncle Bo pours out of something that looks like it should have flowers in it but instead it holds whiskey. It’s a wicked well-rounded whiskey. You first get hit in the face with the 90-proof, but then everything just kind of evens out. There’s nothing here that’s jumping out at you in a negative sense- it’s just good. And that power I was talking about before? It comes in the form of almost tasting like a rye, but without the edge of big time spiciness. If every single whiskey you’ve ever enjoyed fucked and had a kid, and then that kid grew up and learned how to distill whiskey on its own, that whiskey would be Eagle Rare Bourbon. And you’d have some weird probably mangled up looking whiskey child who likes to distill his own kind in a lab that would DEFINITELY be located on a farm. I was wondering how I was going to explain the fact that I said this whiskey tastes like it’s on a farm, and there it is. That’s professional get drunk and write whiskey reviews for ya.

Wrap Up

This is actually one of the few whiskies that I prefer drinking at a bar over drinking at home. Which is stupid because it’s always way, way cheaper to drink at your house, and that’s one of the major selling points of this whiskey. But I digress. Give this whiskey a try. I can definitely see how someone might drink this and think that it’s either boring or bland, but I don’t feel that way and I’m the one with the god damn website not you, buddy. Drink up.


Drunken Brew Review: Berkshire Oktoberfest Lager


That time of the year again, time to get drunk off of fall beers and write about em. If you’re anything like us, some of the Oktoberfest-style beers actually speak to you more than the usual “fall” kind of beers. I’d substitute the flavors of the more German style, caramel-y flavors over some of the more pumpkin pie flavors any day. Berkshire Beer Co is straight out of western, MA. Which if you’re from Boston, you classify as basically anything west of Waltham. They’re known for making solid craft beers that sell for an extremely reasonable price around here in MA, and for having a pretty kickass brewery.  This bad boy clocks in at 7.5% booze which is awesome, and needless to say, it’s only around in the fall. So let’s get the party started.


Oktoberfest beers are just inherently hard to judge because they’re all trying to be the exact same thing. Personally I’m waiting to get drunk off of a beer that calls itself Oktoberfest but still tries to be different. So if you’re anything like me, you’re still going to be waiting for that “different” Oktoberfest after trying Berkshire’s offering. But Berkshire nails what it’s trying to go for mostly: a german oktoberfest that tastes like a regular German Oktoberfest. You know the flavors: malty, spice, earthiness, etc. All good shit, but again, nothing really stands out. Which puts a drunk reviewer between a rock and a hard place: be a dick and knock them points off for not reading your mind, or grade them off of what they were trying to be: a regular Oktoberfest. Well if you’ve read a sentence of this website before, you know I’m an asshole. So that’s points off from me. Now I will say the one amazing quality about this beer that sets it apart is the booze percentage. You definitely can NOT tell that it’s 7.5% Right when you drink it, you get a split second of insane flavors and intense alcohol hitting your tongue, and then it’s gone as fast as it arrived. You know another German who ruled hard and fast and then disappeared suddenly? Yeah you do. So that’s a pretty major swing in the right direction for this beer, I love beers that can pack an alcoholic punch without tasting like dirty dishwater.

How to Drink It

Now this is where it gets interesting. Because of the mix of the disappearing act of flavor, sneaky alcohol punch, and the fact that you can buy it for a reasonable price, I’m going to go ahead and say you should be drinking this as your Fall/ Halloween Party beer of choice. You can seriously get a nice buzz off the stuff all while staying in the holiday spirit. And because it doesn’t linger and is fairly light for an Oktoberfest, you can definitely play your regular drinking games with it. And if you happen to find yourself losing in a WWII-style beer pong game? Nevermind.

Wrap Up

So by now you’re probably kind of confused. On one hand, I like this shit because it’s kind of cheap and packs a punch. On the other hand, the flavor is a little bit disappointing and disappears from your mouth pretty quickly. So all in all I’d say this is an average and not extremely unique Oktoberfest, but it’s an above average and unique fall beer. Does that make sense? Probably not, but you read that we write these reviews when we’re drunk, right? So go ahead and buy some of this stuff when you have a party next time, and make all the Hitler jokes you want, because they’re a hit 100% of the time , unlike a certain German leaders’ missiles.



/ 10

~$7.00 / 22 oz



Drunken Brew Review: Foolproof Peanut Butter Raincloud


So now that it’s officially fall brew season, we’re kicking off our annual tradition like none other: getting drunk off of fall beers and writing reviews. This week’s contestant comes from the great incredibly mediocre state of Rhode Island, Foolproof Brewing’s Peanut Butter Raincloud. If you’re anything like me, your brain immediately starts thinking about Reesee’s cups when you hear the name of this beer. Encapsulates everything great about Halloween, and everyone knows the houses that hand out full-fledged Reesee’s cups (not the midget ones) are the absolute best. So needless to say we were pretty pumped about doing this review.

Now here’s my one issue with fall beers: most of them fucking suck. They’re usually just variations of the same core fall “flavors” of nutmeg, cinnamon, pumpkin, anthrax, etc. This beer is different. And it hits on something that everyone absolutely loves, and that’s peanut butter.


The number 1 thing that shines through in this beer that you wouldnt know just by looking at it is that it’s an unbelievably good porter. Even if you take out the peanut butter flavor, it’s a rock solid porter. So it’s got all of the flavors in a good porter you can expect, but here’s the twist: the peanut butter is subtle as snot. You’d think by looking at the name and seeing the label that this shit is 95% peanut butter, but there’s actually a great balance that doesn’t make you feel like you’re drinking a reese’s cup. It’s very, very drinkable, and preps your mouth hole perfectly for ingesting some more booze. Actually my biggest complaint about this beer is that they lead you into thinking youre going to be drinking an actual peanut butter cup, and then you have this beer and realize how god damn moronic of an idea that is in the first place. If you like darker beers this is quite literally the perfect fall porter.

How to Drink It

Like I said, I think this beer is best for breaking up rounds of whiskey, or some higher-octane beers. You absolutely should not be playing drinking games with this, it’s best suited for sitting around with your buddies, having a good conversation, and physically torturing your friend who has a peanut allergy. And that is what brings me to my main point: everyone has a friend that no one fucking likes. For me it’s my marketing chief at Whiskey on the House. Can’t stand the guy. But you know what he has that I don’t have? A god damn peanut allergy. So throw a koozie on this beer and talk up how good it is as you slowly hand it to him, and bingo bango your problem is solved. That’s this beer’s secret weapon, drive away those losers in the world who are allergic to peanuts. I fullheartedly don’t believe anyone is actually allergic to peanuts. So if your loser friend is willing to lie to your face like that, you should be able to knowingly serve him peanut butter beer*.

Wrap Up

Do I love this beer? Yes. Do I love the flavors and ease of drinking? Yes. Do I love sneaky putting it under my “allergic” friend’s nose and watching his throat close up? Of course not. I don’t know why anyone had to bring allergies into this conversation, I’m just here to review a beer. That being said, this is an absolutely rock solid beer. It takes the fall flavors you love but doesn’t lombardi you in the face with them, it lets you enjoy your fall and your flannel shirts without being a hipster douchebag about it. I highly recommend this beer.






*Whiskey on the House assumes zero responsibility for you having shitty friends


It’s Time: You Can Now Drink Fall Beers Without Being an Asshole. Also, Fall brew Reviews Now Live.


Fall beer has quickly become a weirdly divisive topic. Some people love fall/pumpkin beers, some people hate them. Some people go straight to Twitter to complain that late August is far too early for liquor stores to sell pumpkin beers (and they’re right), and other people count down the days until they can pop on their flannels and begin to pound some Shipyard Pumpkinheads. Well when you’re looking for correct booze opinions, you go straight to this website to tell you what the reality is. The reality is summer is dead. Finished. The second labor day is over, summer is officially in the rearview mirror. Labor Day Monday is the ultimate hangover, look yourself in the mirror and re-evaluate day. You’ve been drinking beer all summer from Thursday to Monday. You’ve been sitting in the sun all summer. It’s time to go inside. Colder weather is coming unless you live in the fairytale land parts of the country where it’s just disgustingly hot all the time. So now is when you can officially begin to go drink fall and/or pumpkin beers. Congrats, you’ve made it.


But know what the fucking problem is? A ton of fall beers blow. Some taste like weird pumpkin pies that Grandma Bertrude had accidentally left in her convection oven for a few years and you just discovered it now because she’s dead. Ok a little dark on the analogy there but I’ll chalk it up to being in the Halloween spirit. Bottom line is we got your back. We are going to bite the bullet so to speak and try as many fall beers as we can and more importantly, we’re going to tell you which ones suck and which ones are worth having, and in which setting. We’ll tell you which beers you can play beer pong with, which beers to sip casually with your buddies watching football, and which beers you shouldn’t even clean your toilet with. Our first up is going to be Foolproof’s weirdly named Peanut Butter Raincloud dropping on your eyeballs on Thursday. So gear up, get ready, and happy fall.

So Apparently America is Running out of Whiskey

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Whether you prefer your whiskey (or bourbon) on the rocks, neat, or with a diet coke, you should know that your little libation is endangered. Or as Punch so emphatically puts it, you should “brace yourself” because “the whiskey apocalypse is coming.”

Ominous, indeed – this whiskey warning comes from Buffalo Trace, one of the oldest distilleries in the country, explains Smithsonian Magazine. Apparently, producers have seen the problem coming but “its impacts are just now beginning to hit the market and will likely only worsen” in the future reports the article.

And to even further your worries (sorry, folks), Buffalo Trace released a statement this month claiming that due to the “bourbon boom… shortages still remain.”

“Despite the increase in distillation over the past few years, bourbon demand still outpaces supply. The overall bourbon category is experiencing 5% growth, but premium brands are up nearly 20% from last year… The increase in sales, coupled with the aging process and evaporation loss, leads to a shortage with no end in sight.”

Yeah – that doesn’t sound good.

Esquire also points out that as “demand for whiskey goes up, quality goes down.” The article points out Maker’s Mark PR disaster last year when the distillery tried to “water down their bourbon.” This means, finding high quality whiskies could get a lot more difficult in the future.

So, what’s a whiskey drinker to do? Well, not drinking whiskey clearly isn’t a viable option. So, as Esquire suggests, we also recommend you “buy as much as you can afford today.”

The end is near (sort of), so stock up on high quality whiskey – the good stuff – while you still can!

Via BostInno

So by now you’ve probably all heard this one before. Basically that all of America is suddenly obsessed with whiskey and we’re almost out. Well nice try Buffalo Trace but you can’t sneak this one past Whiskey on the House. This is a complete media stir to create more demand if I’ve ever seen one (I’ve never seen one). Buffalo Trace definitely just wants to say there’s a shortage so they can a) raise prices   b) lower quality without complaints c) keep demand rising until there actually is a shortage, so they can do it all again. Bullshit. Think your fake shortage scares me? Think again assholes. I love how they point to “evaporation loss.” It’s 2016 bro. I understand they still probably use the same method great Grandad Jimbo came up with shitfaced, but we got technology now. Don’t sit there and tell me you’re all just sitting around watching our whiskey evaporate and not having any clue what to do about it. So to our readers I’d like to pump the breaks on this whole whiskey story and advise everyone to go about their drinking as normal. Now excuse me while I run to the packie to buy an ungodly amount of whiskey. What, me worried?


World’s Oldest Cat, Named “Whiskey,” Dies Like A Little Bitch



A blind British cat claiming the title of the world’s oldest has died a month after his 30th birthday.

Born on August 1 1985, black and white pet Whiskey lived an equivalent of 138 human years.

Owner Lorraine Arnott, 34, was only five when he was born and they have been inseparable ever since. But when he began to lose weight and struggled to walk last week, she knew it was time for him to be put down – at 30 years, one month and 10 days old.

Ms Arnott, a school transport assistant, said: “He had been ill for a few days and he could not stand up. Unfortunately, it was time to say goodbye and I could not see him suffer. I wish it was me that died, I have lost everything and I’ve got nothing left.

“He was better than any brother or boyfriend. There will be no replacement for him. He used to give lovely kisses by putting his paws on my chest and started kissing me on the lips.”

‘It was time to say goodbye and I could not see him suffer. I wish it was me that died, I have lost everything and I’ve got nothing left…’
- Whiskey’s owner Lorraine Arnott
Ms Arnott, from Aston Clinton, Buckinghamshire, buried Whiskey – who was on medication for his ailing kidneys – in the garden on Friday, September 11.

Revealing the secret to his long life, she said she had always fed Whiskey a low-protein diet during his adult life.

“But he was fussy,” said Ms Arnott. “He’d always have a roast dinner with chicken or lamb too. In his last days, he ate 10 sachets of Morrisons cat food and he loved it. I gave him lots of love and he always slept under my duvet. He was always warm.”

Tributes to the well-loved cat have been pouring in from friends and fans and Ms Arnott expects as many cards to come in as when her other cat Rosie died aged 25. She said Whiskey’s mother, Lady, lived until 27.

Whiskey survived a fire at his home last year and Ms Arnott said he put his paw over his face to stop him breathing in smoke.

He was born with both ovaries and testes, but after an operation he was firmly a male. He lost his eyesight as a result of kidney failure.

Via The Telegraph UK


I hate pretty much everything about this story. First and foremost, fuck this world’s oldest cat. Little piece of shit lasts like a billion years, constantly plotting its silent revenge against its owner, and by all signs it never even did anything. But that’s why they call them pussies, I guess. That’s the thing with cats. Everything about them is geared towards killing humans, but they’re just too stupid to act on any of it. They walk around your house all day avoiding you, yet they’ll dart out right when you’re about to walk down the stairs. Coincidence? For sure not. It absolutely stuns me that there are people in 2016 who are actually interested in this old fucking cat. We have major cities, the internet, and even god damn handle-less segways, yet people are rallying around an old cat. An old fucking cat. That is absolutely mind bottling to me.

The overriding issue here, however, is that we’re using the human year/ cat year conversion on cats. Cats don’t get that privilege! You can translate dog years into human years because dogs are obsessed with us. They want to be human, they want to be aged in human years. Cats want your next human year to be your last one. So fuck giving them the dignity. This stupid cat died at the young age of 30. Like a little bitch.