#FridgePorn

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Yeah it’s the same post as last time. But this one is way fucking better. Send us your #fridgeporn on twitter @WhiskeyOTHouse

#FridgePorn

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Beaut. Don’t know what just about any of that shit is, but it’s a beaut. Fridge porn indeed.

5 Quick Booze Costume Tips

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aricle via Parade

1. Get a large box or barrel, paint it however you want and add a spigot. Example: Wine Man.

Boring. Snooze fest. Nothing says “wet blanket” like dressing up as something that usually puts people to sleep after a couple glasses.

2. Fasten a red sheet over a hula hoop, but allow your head and shoulders to pop out from over the hoop. Attach suspenders to the hoop to affix the hoop and tie a PVC pipe inside the hoop to look like a straw. You’ll look like a walking Bloody Mary.

I’m fucking lost. How did that end up being a Bloody Mary at the end? Why wouldn’t you just get hammered on bloody mary’s and then dress up as pretty much anything bloody for Halloween?

3. For men: Take a white T-shirt and tape any beer brand’s 12-pack cardboard design onto the front of the shirt. Then, tape two beer cans to your shoulder. This makeshift beer man would look best with a value beer since “budget” is implied with the costume.

See this one I kinda like. All you’d need after that is to make a staff out of your empties, use another 30 case as a shield, and go around fighting as many people as you can. See how good you can get your k/d ratio by the end of the night. Beer man.

4. For ladies: You can take a 24 pack, cut a hole for your head and arms and wear it similarly as you would as a bathing suit. If you wanted to, you could also make a sword and shield like these ladies.

What? I know girls like to dress kinda slutty for Halloween, but wearing fucking cardboard? And not even a lot of cardboard, a 24 pack specifically? If I see one girl wearing this tonight anywhere I will tip my cap and be on my way, but there’s 0.0% chance any chick does this tonight.

5. And if you wanted to look like Lady Gaga from the 2011 SNLskit, where she dressed like a bottle of wine with a cork head, then, all you need to do is find cylinder box to fit over your head and cut a hole for your face. This Michigan woman made it look easy.

Decent. I just want to know who wrote this article. The way they explain things just completely puts my mind in a cocoon. I can’t even think through most of these and they act like there’s pictures attached but there’s not. It’s like the Ikea instructions of Halloween costumes.

 

In general, just get drunk. There’s your quick booze tip. Nobody cares what you go as, and you won’t either as long as you’re drunk enough. So there’s our advice. Happy Halloween ya filthy animals.

 

 

Drunken Whiskey Review: Kirkland Signature Canadian Whiskey

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Listen, Kirkland is our boy. He really won us over with his 1 Liter of pretty damn good bourbon basically for free, and now I suddenly find a 1.75 L of Canadian whiskey for $20. Talk about buying wholesale.  Now it’s important to take this price into account when reviewing this whiskey. This shit is dirt cheap. If you have a party coming up, or if you’re just about ready to do some anger drinking, pick yourself up a handle of this stuff and you’ll be good to go.

How to Drink It

Shots. Take shots of this stuff. I’ve always thought that the best thing about Canadian whiskey is how perfect it is for taking shots, and this whiskey is no different. This stuff doesn’t hip check you on the way down, it more pats you on the back and says “oh I’m sorry eh” while gently consoling you into getting extremely hammered. The initial taste when taking a shot is a little rough, but just think of Canadians in Saskatchawan ice fishing and you’ll be relaxed and good to go. We did try this whiskey in sort of an impromptu Manhattan Toronto, and I was pleasantly surprised by the results.  It actually mixes pretty damn well for a Canadian whiskey. I don’t really recommend drinking it full strempf, but if you’re one of those hockey players who just smiles when they lose 14 teeth after taking a slapper to the dome, you probably like to live dangerously, so go ahead ya loon.

Flavor

To get a little more specific on flavor, you first smell sweetness when bringing it up to your mouth. Nothing too extreme, because there’s still a spice smell in there, but again it’s more of a Canadian apology than a punch in the gut. On your tongue, I definitely tasted more sweetness, hockey pucks, peppermint, chipped ice, and warm spice. There’s a legitimate kick to it right when it goes down your gullet, but it’s all worth it in the end. The finish actually lasts a while which is nice, so you can keep the train moving while you pour yourself another shot, ya hoser.

Wrap Up

Kirkland, you dirty dawg you. We couldn’t really figure out where this shit was from, but we’re going to assume it’s some spinoff of Crown Royal. I even tried calling Kirkland himself, but he swiftly told me to go fuck myself in a kind, wholesale way. That’s pretty much the story of this whiskey. It provides a nice kick and will definitely get you drunk, but it basically comes with a kind Canadian farm guy who follows you around apologizing for shit. Can definitely get annoying, but it’s actually kinda nice. Definitely a must buy for any party or for anyone whose jimmies tingle when buying wholesale.

 

 Screen Shot 2014-10-30 at 12.26.52 PM $20.00/ 1.75 Liter

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This Liquor Store Gets It

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Amen. Couldn’t have said it better myself. A+ pun, A+ comedy, and it is 1000% true. Halloween is the best holiday because once you’re past the age of 18, it’s a holiday solely dedicated to getting fucked up and doing fucked up things. A+ holiday.

5 Drinks to Get Weird With At Your Halloween Party

So we’re all getting into the Halloween spirit here at Whiskey on the House, and we have for a while. From our fall brew reviews to our fall drink lists, we’ve supplied you with enough booze news and reviews to get into the mood for fall. Halloween is a completely different story. If you’re like me, it’s your time of the year to get as weird as humanly possible. Even if you get too drunk, you’re dressing up as someone else, so your actions simply aren’t on you. So here’s 5 great Halloween drinks to have at your Halloween party.

1. Bloody MargaritaBloodyMargarita-135621054

4 oz blood orange juice
3 oz tequila
1.5 oz triple sec
1 oz fresh lime juice
splash simple syrup
lime/salt on rim/ orange slice as garnish if you fancy

Nothing says “get weird” like tequila. And this happens to look like blood. No brainer.

2. Witches Brew (Halloween Jungle Juice)86aa7fd3b19081a41bb757e572fcffdd

1 cup brown sugar
Grated nutmeg
2 orange peels
5L any rum
2L each of: mango, pineapple, orange juice
Dry ice if you want to go balls out

Mix all this shit together and put it in a huge black bowl or cauldron if you’re actually a witch or something and you have an easy way to get everyone blasted at your party. Skip the worm or whatever the fuck that is.

3. Berried AliveScreen Shot 2014-10-29 at 9.03.02 AM

2 parts vodka
4 fresh mint leaves
4 blackberries
4 raspberries
agave nectar
ginger beer
ice

Going to just go out on a limb here and say there’s no fucking way you need 4 blackberries and raspberries. That’s a little excessive. Let’s say 2 of each? Either way this drink is delicious, although it is a little sweet. So for every girl that walks into your party as Elsa from Frozen, just give her plenty of these.

 

4. Poison AppleScreen Shot 2014-10-29 at 9.03.28 AM

2 parts vodka
3/4 parts Grand Marnier
1 part apple cider
apple slice for garnish
 

Easy enough.

 

5. Woodstock Hot Licks Bourbon & Cinnamon Liqueursex

Don’t believe us? Read our drunken review here and if you’re not convulsing in laughter on the ground afterwards, go buy a shit load of this stuff. If you can’t find it, do yourself a favor and get some Fireball with extra antifreeze. 

 

French Guy Dies After Taking 56 Shots of Booze

ebeae69698d8c3176c89188a97aaf911c08e01c05009843ace5d214c640ab5caThe victim, aged 57, had been out with friends at a bar in the centre of Clermont-Ferrand where he took part in a drinking competition where participants competed to see who could down the most shots.

The man was a clear winner after he took a total of 56 shots of vodka, rum and whisky in succession. But his victory came at a price.

As he headed home at around 2am with friends, he fell into a alcohol coma. He was taken to hospital but died the next day.

“Getting dead drunk used to be seen as degrading, now it’s seen as a positive thing,” Laurent Gerbaud, professor of public health at the Clermont Ferrand university hospital told France Info radio. “We are seeing a new type of competition emerge.”

Police are now investigating what responsibility the bartender has in the man’s death.

“The simple act of serving alcohol to a drunk person is an offence,” local prosecutor Laure Lehugeur told France Info. “After that you can take them to court for manslaughter, which today remains to be seen as the investigation is not over.”

The incident comes after France announced plans to combat binge drinking among young people earlier this month.

If the bill is passes, people who encourage minors to drink excessively could face a year behind bars and a €15,000 fine. And anyone who incites others to “drink until drunk” could face up to six months in prison as well as a fine into the thousands.

 

Dear God. Well this is a drinking competition just like you see in the movies. But I never thought it would have actually happened in real life in France of all places. They seem more like a “eat snails until you forfeit a war” type of people, but I digress. 56 fucking shots? Dude is an absolute legend of the game. What’s this lady saying with “the simple act of serving alcohol to a drunk person is an offence?” What? Yeah sure, serving shot number 13-56 is pretty fucking offensive, but if I’m already drunk and I’m asking for one more, believe me, I will not be offended if you pour it for me. That’s classic backwards French thinking right there. Anyway, there needs to be a shrine for this guy and we needed it yesterday. End of story.

Fireball Recalled For Containing Anti-Freeze

promo_fireball-whiskeyNorway, Finland, and Sweden have recalled the popular Fireball Cinnamon Whisky for containing a higher than acceptable level of propylene glycol, a substance that is classified by the Food and Drug Administration as “generally being recognized as safe” for consumption in small doses, but nevertheless is recognized by scientists as a toxin in higher doses. (The CDC has determined that toxic levels of the chemical are almost impossible to achieve through oral consumption.) The chemical is used in anti-freeze, as a preservative, and to create artificial smoke during fire safety training seminars and for e-cigarettes.

According to Alko, Finland’s state alcohol monopoly, the substance is not necessarily detrimental to one’s health, and can be found in other alcoholic beverages, too. However, Fireball is being recalled because its propylene glycol content exceeds European Union limits.

There are two versions of Fireball, one for the American market and one for Europe. The European version contains less propylene glycol than the U.S. version, to meet EU standards. According to The Daily Beast, the bottling company accidentally shipped American Fireball to Europe, and regulators found it to be out of compliance with European regulations. 

“Propylene glycol (PG) is a regularly used and perfectly safe flavoring ingredient,” a spokesperson for Fireball told The Daily Beast. “PG has been used in more than 4,000 food, beverage, pharmaceutical and cosmetic products for more than 50 years. Most people consume PG every day….”

For the latest happenings in the food and drink world, visit our Food News page.

Joanna Fantozzi is an Associate Editor with The Daily Meal. Follow her on Twitter @JoannaFantozzi

What a fucking genius marketing ploy by Fireball. They know the people that drink Fireball not only don’t give a shit that there’s antifreeze, it makes it that much more fake badass. Sure the fear mongering is way overblown, and anyone who graduated middle school chemistry knows that this isn’t a big deal, but that’s exactly what they want. The people that love Fireball love throwing the fact that they think they’re drinking whiskey in your face. So now they have that much more ammo to tell you “bro I’m drinking fucking anti-freeze, what the fuck are you drinking?” I can hear it now. Genius. And right before Halloween, where almost everyone will be drinking Fireball? I can’t even begin to think on Fireball’s level right now.

Check Out This Wild Turkey and Coke

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See what I did there? Really though….how? How the fuck did the turkey get up that high? Can they actually fly? I thought it was known that they couldn’t? Either way  I’m coming after you fuckers, next time I see you on the road I’m treating you like I treat squirrels, gunning it right for ya.

Whiskey Commandment #35

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Love this one. Send in your whiskey commandments to @WhiskeyOTHouse