Some Psycho Built A Robot To Drink With and Its Creepy As Hell

Via

Robots freak me out plan and simple, there is honestly no need for robots, our parents, grandparents and so forth lived and survived without the help of robots and we should do the same. You’ve all seen the movies where everything is going well, robots make everyones life easier and all of a sudden they go berserk and kill everyone in their sights, why risk this? So we don’t need to do housework? So we don’t need to do certain jobs? And now so we don’t drink alone? That just seems insane to me that someone decided that drinking alone was so sad that it would be better for a robot to “drink” with you. Now the best part of drinking with someone is to chill with them, you don’t drink with someone to watch them drink when you do, you drink with someone to have a good time, maybe play some Chel, Halo, card games or whatever floats your boat. Now this robot just stores the alcohol in what looks like a mason jar, lights its cheeks up and giver you a thumbs up. How is that not creepy to anyone else? This dude built a robot to drink with because he didn’t have a friend or a girlfriend to drink with. If you think this makes drinking with it seem less lonely and you enjoy this than you are delusional and will be the reason us reasonable people become prey to the robots.

Drunken Whiskey Review: Irish Mist Irish Whiskey

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Intro

Nothing like good ol’ irish whiskey to get you in the mood for drinking. The Irish Mist brand is pretty famous as its first product (Irish Mist Honey Whiskey) is based on a recipe from ireland that was popular in the 1500’s and 1600’s until the damn brits invaded ireland and the recipe was lost. Desmond Williams found the old recipe in a manuscript and started producing irish mist honey. Irish Mist realized that only little bitches drank Honey Whiskey and they wanted to come out with a manly whiskey for those of us with testicles. Thus Irish Mist Triple Distilled Irish blended Whiskey was born.

How to Drink It

Like most irish whiskies, Irish Mist is smooth and easy to drink. Shots go down fine, and drinking it on the rocks or full stempf is best. Generally I don’t like to use irish whiskies often for mixed drinks, as they are too smooth and their flavor can easily get lost; However Irish Mist is one of them with a little bit more flavor and bite (in a good way) and can go decent in some mixed drinks.

Flavor

Irish Whiskies are lighter of flavor and bite, which makes them easier to drink, but the lack of character can sometimes be unsatisfying. Irish Mist has more flavor and bite than most Irish Whiskies out there. I’d say its more similar to a Jameson or Michael Collins. One of the better tasting Irish Whiskies I’ve had.

Wrap Up

Irish Mist is a great choice if you’re in the mood for Irish Whiskey. Its about the price of Jameson, and is in the same ballpark in terms of quality. After knowing the history of Irish Mist, its very difficult not to curse the British. So go find some Irish Mist, pour yourself a glass, and start posting nasty things about the British on social media.

shots    $25/ 750 mL

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Drunken Whiskey Review: Drumguish Scotch Whisky

Intro

It’s about time we fire up the old Drunken Whiskey Review machine with another bargain scotch called Drumguish Scotch Whisky. You’ve definitely seen it on the bottom or second to bottom shelf of the packie, hanging out next to some of the weirder scotches that are sold for anywhere from $20- $40. Let me just say this, the 20-40 dollar range of scotch is a wild, wild fucking world. You have zero idea what you’re going to get. Some of them are awesome, and some are absolute garbage. Much more of a wide range than the other kinds of whiskies, too. With rye or bourbon, 20-40 dollars is guarenteed to get you a good whiskey. But with Scotch it could go either way. So which way does Drumguish Scotch fall on? Let’s find out.

How to Drink It

First of all, I have no damn idea how to actually pronounce this whiskey. I’m calling it “Drumbush” because I think that’s hilarious and I also kind of think it’s actually correct. We tried this whiskey full strempf, on the rocks, and in a shot (no mixed drinks for Scotch, that’s for the birds). The absolute best way to drink Drumguish is on the rocks, and it’s not even really that close. In fact, you should drink this whiskey along with a couple ice cold beers, because it really is the perfect companion. It’s like a pallete cleanser, just like that ginger shit you get with sushi. Those Asians definitely had it right with that shit. Have a couple beers, drink some Drum bush in between, and you’re golden.

 

Flavor

This is going to sound completely out of left field, but this whiskey actually kind of tastes like cereal. And not Lucky Charms or any good cereal, but it almost reminds me of unfrosted mini-wheats. Or Wheeties. Is there any difference between those cereals, by the way? What even are Wheeties? Do they actually give you athletic ability like I’m assuming they do? Anyway, this Scotch tastes exactly like those cereals, except it doesn’t suck. It’s not that great, but it doesn’t suck. And when you’re alone in a supermarket, completely overwhelmed, what do you do? You reach for a box of Wheeties because there’s an off chance that you become a super athlete or a super hero or something. So next time you’re in the packie and you’re either completely overwhelmed or completely wasted, just try this stuff and see what happens. You definitely won’t regret it, but you probably won’t be winning any gold medals, either.

Wrap Up

So Drumguish Scotch Whisky is definitely worthy of a try. I wouldn’t go ordering it in any bars anytime soon, and to be honest I probably won’t be buying it again anytime soon, but I definitely will keep it in mind. Like I said it’s a great whiskey for sipping in between beers when you’re trying to get drunk fast, but other than that it’s really nothing to write home about. So go ahead, give it a try, or don’t. I quite literally could not care less.

 

 

I Think Johnny Football Might Be a Genius

 

Take THAT, Cleveland. Listen the fact that the Browns and America in general has ever gotten on Johnny Football for being a human being is fucking unbelievable to me. Do they know that their team is in Cleveland? CLEVELAND! As in you NEED to be drunk just to stave off the whole suicide vibe of that entire city. He’s just trying to play out his contract, and the way for him or anyone else to survive in Cleveland is to be completely altered at all times. Sure, if he’s getting hammered on road games that’s one thing (depending on where- if you’re getting drunk before playing the Patriots that’s acceptable because it’s depressing knowing there’s zero percent chance you’re even going to be in the game), but at home? It’s Cleveland!

French Guy Dies After Taking 56 Shots of Booze

ebeae69698d8c3176c89188a97aaf911c08e01c05009843ace5d214c640ab5caThe victim, aged 57, had been out with friends at a bar in the centre of Clermont-Ferrand where he took part in a drinking competition where participants competed to see who could down the most shots.

The man was a clear winner after he took a total of 56 shots of vodka, rum and whisky in succession. But his victory came at a price.

As he headed home at around 2am with friends, he fell into a alcohol coma. He was taken to hospital but died the next day.

“Getting dead drunk used to be seen as degrading, now it’s seen as a positive thing,” Laurent Gerbaud, professor of public health at the Clermont Ferrand university hospital told France Info radio. “We are seeing a new type of competition emerge.”

Police are now investigating what responsibility the bartender has in the man’s death.

“The simple act of serving alcohol to a drunk person is an offence,” local prosecutor Laure Lehugeur told France Info. “After that you can take them to court for manslaughter, which today remains to be seen as the investigation is not over.”

The incident comes after France announced plans to combat binge drinking among young people earlier this month.

If the bill is passes, people who encourage minors to drink excessively could face a year behind bars and a €15,000 fine. And anyone who incites others to “drink until drunk” could face up to six months in prison as well as a fine into the thousands.

 

Dear God. Well this is a drinking competition just like you see in the movies. But I never thought it would have actually happened in real life in France of all places. They seem more like a “eat snails until you forfeit a war” type of people, but I digress. 56 fucking shots? Dude is an absolute legend of the game. What’s this lady saying with “the simple act of serving alcohol to a drunk person is an offence?” What? Yeah sure, serving shot number 13-56 is pretty fucking offensive, but if I’m already drunk and I’m asking for one more, believe me, I will not be offended if you pour it for me. That’s classic backwards French thinking right there. Anyway, there needs to be a shrine for this guy and we needed it yesterday. End of story.

Happy Holidays: Two Dudes in Texas Shoot Up a Party After Losing in Beer Pong

bpSOURCE – After getting vanquished in a beer pong match, a group of sore losers opened fire early yesterday at a Texas house party, wounding a female reveler, police report. According to the Liberty County Sherriff’s Office, investigators are searching for two men who allegedly shot up the party after losing at the beer pong table. Deputies identified the suspects as Decoris “Red” Rucker, 24, and Chris “Crazy Chris” Hackett. Rucker and Hackett were among a group of five men who became upset after losing a backyard beer pong game. The men, witnesses said, ran from the home while firing wildly at partygoers. An 18-year-old woman was shot in the thigh during the gunfire.

 

With the names of “Red” and “Crazy Chris” I’m assuming this isn’t the first time guns have been the answer upon losing at something. The way I see it, they probably lost to the poor 18 year old chick who must have kicked their asses pretty good. These guys had to be the biggest asshole sore losers on the face of the Earth, right? We’ve all played beirut/beer pong with these kinds of guys. Doesn’t matter how nice they are off the court, they just turn into the biggest d-bags in the heat of the game. Calling elbows, bouncing the ball, and ruining friendships over trivial rules because they fundamentally don’t understand the fact that beer pong is fun because everyone plays with different rules. Now, I’m also assuming these guys weren’t playing with home court advantage. Because if a house rule is Crazy Chris and Red Robin or whatever get to shoot you if they lose, the police can’t do anything. Beer pong house rules overrule almost everything. Now excuse me while I go revise my own house rules.

Have Thanksgiving Leftovers? Turn Them Into Booze!

Listen, I’m not going to sugar coat it. Today kind of sucks. You’re a little bit fatter today from all the food you’ve eaten over the last week, you’re a little bit dumber today due to all the booze you drank last week, and to make matters worse, you just have more and more stuffing to go home to, making you fatter and dumber all the way up until Christmas, and then you do it all over again.

But what’s the best way to solve that problem? Go to the gym? Cut down on calories? Nope. Those are probably the worst things you could be thinking of doing at the moment. The real answer here is to take those Thanksgiving leftovers, turn them in to booze, and then drink them. Because everyone knows that your body handles liquid way better than solids, so you’ll just piss out the calories and call it a day. Here’s how to do it:

 

Cranberry Sauce Cosmo

Cranberry sauce kind of sucks if we’re being honest. It doesn’t really belong on the Thanksgiving dinner table, but it does come in the clutch when you’re making your famous Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. But other than that it’s completely useless. Here’s how to make something not as useless, but still kind of useless (it’s a cosmo):

Ingredients

1 ounce vodka

2 1/2 ounces cranberry granita

1/2 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice

Preparation

1. Heat up your leftover cranberry sauce on the stove for about 5 or 10 minutes and add in some water/sugar until it basically is cranberry syrup. Then throw that shit in the freezer and let it freeze.

2. Follow this recipe for the remainder of the ingredients.

3. Place all ingredients into a cocktail shaker and shake until granita melts. Pour into a martini glass and garnish with a twist of lemon. Consume liberally with leftover turkey.

 

Pumpkin Pie Milkshake

If you’re like me, you’re waking up today legitimately 10 pounds heavier. You just hate yourself. Reminds you of this:

 

 

And we all know that as human beings, when your body gets used to this much food intake, you have to just keep it going so you don’t die. So why not take that pumpkin pie and make it into a boozey shake?

 

Ingredients

1 slice pumpkin pie

1/2 cup milk (Use 2% if you want, but really, who are you kidding? Use whole milk.)

2 scoops vanilla ice cream

At least 1 billion shots Fireball whiskey or any whiskey

Preparation

Throw all that shit into a blender and then drink it.

 

 

 

Your Monday Suck? Atleast You Didn’t Spend Your Weekend Here

 

Apparently this is from some place in Southern Mississippi. This is the problem that I have on Twitter. People send me these things with ZERO descriptions so I don’t know whether they know that I am going to post it, but I am also 100% going to make fun of it as well. That said, what the FUCK is this place? Between the mom with surprisingly huge knockers with her Addidas’ on who looks like she just came from an exciting spin class to the lady on the pole who I’m pretty sure is wearing ballet shoes to the Dad who’s either dancing or has a stub for an arm, this is quite the group in quite the bar. Nothing says Southern Living like a shithole establishment such as this. Happy Monday.

Virginia Booze Stores Holding Black Friday Sales

black-friday-shopping-620km111612-1363290612State booze stores gets in on Black Friday rush

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — Virginia Alcohol Beverage Control stores will again offer discounts on Black Friday this year.

The Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control says all of its stores will offer 10 percent off any purchases totaling $50 or more before taxes. Lottery and gift cards are excluded from consideration.

ABC Chairman Jeff Painter says the discounts allow customers to buy premium brands at reduced prices for gifts and holiday entertaining.

Last week the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board voted to adopt a series of “revenue enhancements” that included higher warehouse handling fees paid by manufacturers and a small increase in bottle prices. 

Last year, ABC sales on the day after Thanksgiving totaled more than $5 million, down about 15 percent from the same day in 2012.

Customers also will be able to register for a special drawing for an $80 gift card in honor of the agency’s 80th anniversary. The drawing will be Dec. 17.

Whoa. Hold. The. Phone. This is some good, old fashioned, American thinking right here. I’ve never gone out for Black Friday because the thought of being at any Wal Mart on a god damn regular Tuesday scares the shit out of me, let alone with 5000 people all around me. But I can dig this. This is something that I can stay up, push past the turkey nap, and go fucking bananas at. Throwing elbows, tackling people, smashing bottles over people in line. This is so fucking smart. Everyone will be flooding Best Buy and the mall on Friday morning, but now we can all raid our nearest liquor store, raid it, and walk home. Done.

One of the Greatest Drinking Days of the Year is Upon Us: Thanksgiving Eve

dd39fd95d306262d739e9a09db67b34cfeThe day before Thanksgiving. Today is the day to go out, get weird, and not worry about tomorrow. Because you know what’s coming down the pike tomorrow? Food. Food, more food, and booze. Sure, maybe some annoying family, but if you time up your anger drinking session correctly, that becomes a non-issue. So make sure you get your friends together and get weird tonight.

I wonder where the day before Thanksgiving ranks among drinking days of the year? Like it’s not as fun and just awesome as the Fourth, or as inherently about drinking as Halloween, but the fact that it has a built-in hangover day is unique. Nothing else is like it. You can completely let go and know that the only thing coming your way the next day is plenty of time to recover, and food. Where does it rank for you?