7 Year Old Child Drives His Dad Home From The Bar

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These astonishing photos show a seven-year-old boy DRIVING his drunk father home from the pub.

The mind-boggling pictures were taken in Yizhou in southern China’s Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region – and police have confirmed they are genuine.

In the images, Jun Yu can be seen driving the three wheeled trailer while his dad drunkenly sleeps in the back.

The lad was sent by his mother to pick her husband up after she got a call to say he had passed out outside his regular drinking den.

According to neighbours of the man, it isn’t the first time the boy has been sent to pick him up from the pub.

The police were alerted to the images when they went viral after they were posted online by stunned motorists.

Officers have spoken to Yu’s parents and are now considering charges for allowing the boy to drive the vehicle while under age.

The legal age for driving in China is 18.

A police spokesman said: “The child drove a total of 20 kilometres to bring his father home.

“His father was incapacitated after a night of drinking with friends at a bar near his place of work.”

Via Mirror

This little guy was just doing his duty as a son and he has the paparazzi on his ass. Would you rather the man drive home drunk? At least he had a systematic way of getting home with a sober driver and not 100% risk other peoples lives. If this little dude has done it and knows how to safely drive then there should be a medal given out to this kid. He has got his fathers ass covered, being a good son and at the same time saving people from getting hit by a motorized bicycle with a trailer. He is about 11 years under the age of driving yet still probably better than half of the drivers in New York or Boston. I say that China just goes ahead and gives him an honorary license just because he has proved time and time again that he can drive and is responsible, but then again China does do some really weird shit and that will probably never happen.

Your Official Guide to The Blizzard of 2015

So this big ass blizzard is currently on its way to New England and beyond. Whiskey on the House is here to keep you entertained with our posts, drunk with our drinking game ideas, and warm by suggestively rubbing your leg (to preserve body heat, of course).

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Survival Guide- Essentials

Rule #1 of the Blizzard of 2015 is to not let any of the nerdy weather people tell you how to survive. They’ll tell you to go stock up on things like soup, beans, blankets, and gas, and then just hunker down with your loved ones and hope for the best. That’s great advice if you’re a huge pussy. If you’re a Whiskey on the House-er, though, that’s the worst possible way of getting through this storm. Here’s what you really need:

1. Beer

Self explanatory. Ever heard that saying that goes a little something like “wine is paired with food, cocktails come after food, and beer is food?” Well guess what just got upgraded to nonperishable survival food bitches? So stock the fuck up on beer, but do it smart. Buy yourself a good old 30 of light beer, something you can pound and play games with, and also a 12 or even more of a more heavier beer. Think an IPA or stout, something that will actually fill you up. That way you can get hammered and stay full. You can even shove a couple brews in the snow outside if you lose power. Fuck beans.

2. Multi vitamin

This is really just for those who will be going the route of the all liquid diet over the next couple days. Just sneak one in and have a built in excuse for drinking your meals.

3. Video Games

Don’t care if it’s a fancy pants Xbox One, PS4, or better yet an N64 or Dreamcast. If you can get online, make sure you have a head set so you can put into words just how badly you are tea bagging the snot out of some kid who has a snow day. Make your goal to ruin at least 15 middle schoolers’ snow days.

4. Whiskey

It’s a fact that those survival dogs indeed carry around whiskey in those adorable little barrel things on their neck. I’ve only seen those dogs in cartoons but I think it still applies.

…I just quickly google searched to get an image of what I’m talking about, and now I’m almost 100% sure I just made up the existence of these dogs, but fact checking is for communists, so on we go.

Whiskey will very likely be the solution to all your cold problems over the next few days. It warms up your bones, gets you drunk, and makes shoveling a hell of a lot more fun.

 

Things to Do

We already mentioned video games, but there are plenty more things you can plan on doing over the next couple days to really enjoy yourself.

Drinking Games

Take a sip if: you hear the word “historic” on TV, everytime you hear a plow come by your house or your street

Take a shot if: you hear your neighbor fire up their snow blower, your lights flicker, you have to go out and shovel

Make up whatever other rules you want, just make sure you’re meeting the mark of a great drinking game, and that is that you’re always drinking.

1. Beer Pong

Beer Pong, or beirut, is a great way to spend the day snowed in. You get up, you’re moving around, you’re talking shit, and all you need is water. You can even just grab some snow from outside and put it in the cups.

2. Card Games

Card games are going to be key. If you lose power, just light a candle, grab a deck of cards, and play things like Irish Poker, Fuck the Dealer, Ride the Bus, etc.

3. Quarter Games

Again same line of thinking as with card games, you don’t need anything other than a candle, beer, and a quarter.

Get Drunk Quick- personal favorite. Flip a coin. Heads you drink ,tails everyone else drinks, then you pass it down. Nice and easy.

Hockey- Everyone sets their cans in front of them, and one person spins a quarter. While it’s spinning, that person calls out the name of another player, and tries to flick the quarter at their beer can. If it hits, they get to spin the quarter again, but this time the person whose beer can they hit has to chug for the amount of time the quarter spins. Other players can attempt to keep the quarter spinning. If they miss, it goes to the next person.

Landmine- Everyone has beer and two shot glasses. Each player has to spin the quarter, take two shots of beer, then pick the quarter up with the same hand they took the shots with. Whenever you finish a beer, your beer can becomes your personal land mine. Put it anywhere in front of you, and if someone else’s spin hits your mine and stops spinning, they need to take their two shots and spin again. Make sure you get strategic with your land mines, like blocking in the worst drinker at the table so he almost always ends up hitting a mine when spinning.

4. Shoveling

It’s not going to be all fun and games. You will have to shovel. But why not set up a reward system? If you’re shoveling manually, every time you clear out 2 “lanes” of snow, take a nice swig of a beer. If you’re snow blowing, do whatever the fuck you want as long as you realize you’re being a little bit of a bitch.

 

Ovechkin Got Hammered At The All Star Draft and Fell In Love With A Car

ovi being ovi

 

For all of you non-hockey fans out there Ovechkin is one of the best there is in the league if not the world. He gets paid an unreal amount of money and loves what he does. Does he have enough to buy 2000 Honda  and still live comfortably for the remainder of the year? Probably, is he 100% drunk in this photo? Definitely, and that’s what I love about this sport, the people who play it just love to fuck around off ice and enjoy their lives, but once they step on the ice there is no joking around. It’s like most hockey players have the mentality of Gronk.

Ovi was just enjoying his night, lusting after a car while he never noticed he was in the middle of a joke that everyone else seemed to be in on. He got picked third to last and the last two to get picked were given cars. I just love how the entire league can be in on a joke like that and like just have a good time. If you have ever seen videos on the team pranks they are even funnier, watching the series 24/7 leading up to the winter classics showed the fun behind the scenes as well.

 

 

Two Drunks in India Go 0-100 Real Quick

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Two men riding on a motorbike under the influence of alcohol allegedly slapped a police constable and bit off the little finger of another police constable in Borivali Sunday morning. The duo had ventured out of their home early Sunday, to have ice cream in Borivali, the police said.Both of them have been arrested while the injured constable underwent emergency surgery on Sunday. According to the police, both accused are natives of New Delhi and live in Charkop in Kandivali. They have been identified as Abhishek Pandey (27) and Ashwinikumar Singh (29). The police said that the men are studying for an MBA entrance exam in the city. “Medical tests have shown that both men were drunk at the time of the incident. We are speaking to the police in New Delhi to find if they have a previous criminal record,” said Balsing Rajput, Deputy Commissioner of Police, Zone 11. Both men have been charged with causing grievous hurt to deter public servant from his duty under the Indian Penal Code and remandedin police custody until January 30, Khaire said. 

Via IndianExpress

What the actual fuck India? There are not many things that I scroll through while finding articles that pop out and legit baffle me, but this is one of those times. I don’t even understand how someone could go from slapping someone at one second to straight up bitting a mans finger off. I feel like if you are sober enough to ride a motorcycle without tipping over and dying you are able to consciously know to not bite peoples finger right? Did they forget how to be civilized or something? I know us Americans can get pretty rowdy when we drink but at what point do you hit the “I am going to bite this guys finger off” drunk? I stand corrected from when I said being a police officer in Oregon must suck, like I would tackle naked drunk dudes every morning if it meant I kept all of my fingers.

#HireWatermelonBrother

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LONDON Now here’s something you don’t see every day —a man riding a subway train wearing a mask made of watermelon. The bizarre commuter was snapped by Chinese social media users in Beijing.

Wearing a huge watermelon covering his head, with stars cut out for eyes, you’d be hard pressed to miss him. Aside from the giant fruit he was dressed normally, wearing a scarf, backpack and a jacket.

Concerned train users told the police and the man —dubbed ‘Watermelon brother’ on the Chinese version of Facebook Weibo — was taken aside for questioning. One user on the site said: “He held two liquor bottles and walking staggeringly.” A passenger surnamed Wu said: “This guy was just hanging around on the train wearing a watermelon mask, with a beer bottle and a baijiu bottle. Apparently he was totally drunk.”

Via PuneMirror

This dude straight up stole a play outta Lady Gaga’s book or some shit. Watermelon on his head riding the train like it’s nothing. Slouched back, book in hand giving absolutely 0 fucks. I don’t want this man on our merchandizing team, I need him on our merchandizing team. This man sees outside the box through star carved eyes, you see the empty skin of a watermelon, he sees the hat of hardos. This man not only has some kick ass head gear on, he also has a personal air freshener. Let’s face it, subways smell like shit and they are riddled with homeless people and harry ass people who just generally smell like shit, but with this head gear all you can smell is watermelon. That is pure genius, you don’t find that just anywhere.

Drunk Dude Tries Opening Plane Door In Flight

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The passenger, who witnesses claimed smelt of alcohol, was said to have fought with flight attendants and other fliers before trying to force open the door of the emergency exit on Thursday, the South China Morning Post reports.

He was stopped by air marshals on board the Hainan Airlines flight and detained by police after the plane landed in Hohot, the capital of the Inner Mongolia region.

The man, whose surname is Feng, was allegedly arguing with other passengers just after the plane left Changsha, the capital of the Hunan Province in south-west China. He refused to wear his seatbelt as the plane began to descend, fighting with cabin crew and fellow passengers who attempted to prevent him from leaving his seat.

While the incident may have alarmed fellow passengers, as our Travel Truths series has explained, plane doors cannot be opened during a flight– cabin pressure doesn’t allow it, and they are further secured by a series of electrical and/or mechanical latches.

They can be opened on the ground, however. In December an impatient Chinese traveller triggered a two-hour delay at an airport in Hainan province after he opened an emergency exit – triggering the inflatable slide – in a bid to disembark more quickly. The plane had almost finished taxiing when the man opened one of the doors, automatically deploying the emergency slide. According to Chinese media he told officials he was “eager to get out of the plane once it landed”.

In the same month, a Chinese passenger on board an internal Xiamen Air flight to Chengdu caused a scare by opening the emergency exit door “to get some fresh air” just before the plane was due to take off, China’s Southern Metropolis Daily reported. China’s public security code states that anyone found guilty of disturbing public order on board a plane should be detained between five and 10 days and face a fine of up to 500 yuan (HK $630).

The latest incident took place on the same day the country’s civil aviation authority promised to increase regulation over unruly air passengers as part of the National Tourism Administration’s plan to form a database of misbehaving Chinese tourists to be shared with mainland airlines, hotels and travel agencies.

In 2013, the Chinese government issued guidelines warning Chinese tourists abroad against any “uncivilised” activities such as spitting and pushing into queues after a 15-year-old from Nanjing carved his name into an ancient relief at a temple in Luxor, Egypt.

Via Telegraph

See it’s things like this that make me hate flying, yeah there are electrical locks and what not stopping the door from opening but technology fails all of the time. Just the other day some dude died by falling through cellar doors in NY which is not supposed to happen on earth so don’t tell me the plane door wont open either. Sure, when I see a door or hatch or something when in a room I want to open it and see whats inside even if I’m not drunk, but absolutely not on a plane. Planes are just pieces of metal with engines to make them  go forward, the rest is a mystery to me. I know about the whole wing splitting air and that’s supposedly keeping me in the air, but that doesn’t sit with me. So if you start fucking with something that shouldn’t be fucked with, even if it has safety measures on a plane you deserve the worst punishment there is. Fuck this dude and fuck planes.

Drunken Whiskey Review: Monkey Shoulder

Intro

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 2.03.17 PMDid I buy Monkey Shoulder because I have always wanted a monkey, but I still sort of understand the realistic consequences of owning a real monkey? Yes. Am I about to use this whiskey as an excuse to go outside naked and throw feces at my annoying neighbors? You bet, the second I hit publish, shit hits the fan. Monkey Shoulder is from ya boy William Grant, and they blend their malts from three different distilleries from a place called Dufftown. Which I’m assuming is a place with limited electricity, and “Internet” is a completely unknown subject. Perfect place to make some whiskey, right?

How to Drink It

With your pants off. Really. If you drink this whiskey with a mixed drink, you’ll fucking want to rip your pants off, NBA player warmup style (see below, a live reaction of me drinking this whiskey):

IO1JW8z

Seriously Monkey Shoulder Scotch Whisky tastes best in a mixed drink. We tried this bad boy in a Screwdriver, and it was amazing. As with all scotches, it also tastes great over ice or full strempf, and you should immediately be kicked in the dick if you decide to take a shot of this stuff by choice. If you’re dared or lose a drinking game and you have to take a shot of it and you don’t, you should also be kicked in the dick.

Flavor

So now that we’re finished talking about kicking dicks (is that a great band name or what?), let’s get into the flavor. The first words that come to mind when drinking Monkey Shoulder Scotch is creamy and smooth. But not like weird creamy. So I did a little research, and found out that they use Crema Catalana. No clue what that means, but the first word sounds like cream, so I’m a fucking genius. There’s definitely a fair amount of spice kick too, with vanilla and other winter-resembling spices going on. But it’s really all about that smooth creamyness. It goes down real easy, and makes you think you’re drinking whatever the hell Will Farrell was on when filming Elf. Just some Christmas-y shit that will definitely make you PUMPED to see Santa.

Another thing that stands out is the after taste. And not in a good way. The after taste has me torn. On one hand, it fucking blows. It tastes like a peppermint bear just shat in your mouth. But on the other hand, I feel like Monkey Shoulder did it on purpose, because the only way to get rid of the after taste is to keep on drinking. Soooo you’re basically hooked on the stuff, and I can’t knock that capitalistic hustle one bit. Overall the taste is ok, but honestly that after taste has me putting my pants back on…slowly.

 

Wrap Up

Maybe I had too high expectations going in. Or maybe I’m just a god damn genius. Either way, this is a middle of the road Scotch. And I personally believe as a society we can’t be throwing “monkey” around all willy nilly, using it in silly products and things that just don’t deliver. And this is one of them. Leave this guy on the shelf.

 

 

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 $40.00

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Here’s Six Booze Facts That You Probably Didn’t Know (If You’re a Moron)

Screen Shot 2014-12-29 at 10.13.17 AMSo, here are six things to know about drinking before you go out tonight:

1. You’re drinking more than you think.
 

A study from Cancer Research UK suggests that the average British adult might drink around 3,740 calories of beer or 3,750 calories of alcohol at parties over the holiday season.

Even though 27% of the 18- to 24-year-olds and 33% of the 25- to 34-year-olds surveyed said they had been known to skip a meal to “make room” for drinking (Note: not a good idea!), they still ended up imbibing so much that it would have taken seven hours of jogging to work off all that seasonal cheer.

DailyBurn: 10 easy ways to burn 500 calories this winter

So how much should you be drinking, anyway?

“Defined by the U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans, moderate drinking is no more than one drink per day for women and no more than two for men,” says Zakhari.

Reality check: That means 12 ounces of beer, 1.5 ounces of spirits, or 5 ounces of wine. Go forth and enjoy (moderately).

 

2. You could be counting carbs all wrong.

 If you’re trying to lose weight or get in shape, which type of alcohol should you order?

You’ve got options, says Dr. David Sack, CEO of Promises Treatment Centers.

“In terms of sheer calorie count, beer has the most — about 150 calories. However, if you opt for light beer, that’s about 100 calories, which is about the same as a serving of wine or liquor,” says Sack.

Beer usually has around 10 to 20 grams of carbs — although strong, sweet beers have more, while lagers and stouts have the least (around 6 to 11 grams), according to Sack.

If wine is your thing, a glass of red only has 2 grams of carbohydrates — and keep in mind that drier wines will have fewer carbs and less sugar.

DailyBurn:15 better-for-your-body beers

Hard liquor actually comes in at zero sugar and carbs. That might seem like a win, but it all depends how you drink it.

“Just watch the mixers,” recommends Sack. “There’s a big difference between straight vodka and the vodka in a Cosmo,” which is paired with sugary cranberry juice.

 

3. Your brain might benefit from booze.
 Let’s be honest: Going overboard on drinks can make your brain feel foggy at best, or short a few brain cells at worst.

Keep your bar tab under control and you might actually be doing your brain a favor.

“Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol throughout your life can actually ward off cognitive decline and improve brain function,” says Zakhari.

Research in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease found that of 489 women studied, moderate drinkers scored higher than abstinent women or heavy drinkers on a cognitive functioning test.

“Decline in cognition is usually due to the brain not receiving enough oxygen,” explains Zakhari. “Alcohol makes the blood more fluid, which helps the blood supply to the brain remain constant.”

Does the type of alcohol matter? Nope!

According to Zakhari, it’s about the actual alcohol, not the form it comes in.

4. Imbibing could help prevent a stroke.
 Every year, approximately 800,000 people in the U.S. suffer from strokes, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But your nightly drink might make you less likely to someday become a part of that statistic.

Alcohol’s blood-thinning effect can help ward off strokes.

Zakhari explains that there are two types of strokes: ischemic, when a blood clot stops blood from going to parts of the brain, and hemorrhagic, when the brain bleeds too much.

Around 80% of strokes are ischemic, which is where alcohol comes in. “Moderate drinking helps reduce the clotting of blood, so there’s less of a possibility of a blood vessel being clogged,” says Zakhari. “And then even if a clot does happen, alcohol can help with fibrinolysis, which is the dissolution of the clot.”

 

5. Alcohol might not actually be helping you sleep better.

If you imbibe before bed, you might help yourself nod off, but you’re not doing your body any favors in the long run.

“Alcohol may help you sleep now, but you’ll likely pay for it by being wakeful later,” says Sack.

Boozy beverages can disrupt what’s known as sleep homeostasis, the process that helps your body regulate sleep, according to research in the journal Alcohol.

While alcohol is a somnogen, or sleep inducer, it can also disrupt you in the middle of the night.

“Then there’s the fact that relying on alcohol to help you sleep can lead to problems down the road. What tends to happen is that alcohol works less and less well as a sleep aid over time, so we respond by increasing the amount we are drinking,” says Sack.

 

6. Even one episode of binge drinking can harm your health.
 Here’s an excellent reason to keep yourself in check: Overdoing it even once — yup, you read that right — can affect your health in freaky ways, says research in the journal PLOS ONE.

Binge drinking is “a pattern of drinking that brings blood alcohol concentration (BAC) levels to 0.08,” according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. That’s about four or more drinks for women and five or more drinks for men within about two hours.

In the study, researchers discovered binge drinkers had bacterial DNA in their bloodstreams, which was a sign bacteria had leaked out from the gut.

They also discovered elevated endotoxin presence in the blood, which meant toxins had been released from cells after cell walls were damaged by booze. The consequences: These toxins could lead to fever, tissue destruction and inflammation, which is tied to a host of health problems from cancer to depression.

It sounds scary, but avoiding these issues is pretty simple if you follow Zakhari’s alcohol mantra: “It’s all about moderation.”

Via CNN

Couple people sent us this article yesterday about six booze facts that you probably didn’t know. And obviously I know everything so I wanted to check this out.  Let’s go through these mind-blowing booze facts step-by-step, shall we?

1. You’re Drinking More Than You Think

OK this one is classic bullshit. My main issue here is that “moderate drinking” is now one or two drinks a day, so no more than 14 in a week? That’s moderate? Who the hell is making these rules? So yeah, I think I completely understand exactly how much I’m drinking, and it’s waaaaaay more than whatever you are calling “moderate.”

2. You Could Be Counting Carbs All Wrong

No offense, and I’m completely out of the loop with all current events that don’t relate to booze (not my job not my problem), but are people that read CNN complete morons? Do they really need to be told that beer has carbs? And thanks for letting me know that mixers generally have more calories than just straight booze.

mind blown

 

3. Your Brain Might Benefit From Booze, 4. Booze Prevents Strokes

All I had to read was that drinking a shit load means I will never have a stroke. Right? Sweet. I’m going to go with that. Next time one of you assholes judges me for being weirdly drunk on a Tuesday, you can go stroke yourself.

And #3 is almost irrelevant and I actually think it’s bullshit because I should have the memory of a fucking elephant at this point, and I legitimately can’t tell you what the last sentence I wrote was, or even what the point of this sentence is anymore.

5. Alcohol Might Not Be Helping You Sleep

Everyone knows that you put a glass of water next to your bed, so when you eventually wake up with the cold sweats, you guzzle that down and you’re good to go. Everyone knows that. So combine that knowledge with the fact that when you’re drunk, you could sleep ass naked on a bench and feel like you’re in a genuine Bob-O-Pedic while wearing a silk onezie with a satin dick compartment, and I’d say that yes, booze does help me sleep.

6. Even one Episode of Binge Drinking Can Harm Your Health

Agreed. Because I can definitely try to punch a wall in just one episode of binge drinking.

 

Booze of Choice for Each US State

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While Whiskey on the House wishes that our hometown (Massachusetts) was a whiskey state, “Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth” has a nice ring to it. And to all the states whose drink of choice is wine – you should be ashamed of yourself. But lets take a moment to reflect on Utah…what the fuck Utah? There’s a reason Vinepair labeled Utah as an “alcoholic exclusion zone”. Utah has the most strict alcohol regulations in the country. Most places in Utah can only sell beer with 4% alcohol or less. Anything over that has to be sold by a state run liquor store or a restaurant or club with a license to sell spirits. And on top of all that communist, dictator bullshit – they have strict time restrictions in which alcohol can be served.

So America – it appears Kim Jong Un has taken over Utah (and clearly the french canadians pussified all of our wine states). Whiskey on the House is calling out our good friends Seth Rogen and James Franco to extract Kim Jong Un from Utah and implant freedom. And Jason Statham, we’re calling on you to put some hair on these wine states balls. America needs you.