Category Archives: Drunken Reviews

Rules:
1) We get drunk
2) We test one drink full strempf, one on the rocks, one mixed, and one shot
3) Full strempf = neat

Drunken Whiskey Review: Redemption Rye

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Intro

Redemption Rye is a big, 92-proof straight rye whiskey. It’s aged for about 2-3 years, and is bottled by Bardstown Barrel Selections, inc. You’ve seen it in the liquor stores. It has a very distinct bottle design that does a great job of standing out among regular whiskey bottles. Now if you like rye whiskey, you better not be wearing sweatpants: because this bad boy is about 95% rye. So hide that boner, and let’s get down to business, shall we?

How to Drink It

This is a premium drink when it comes to mixing. Aging it 2-3 years really helps it hit that perfect mark where it can shine through in your Manhattan or Old Fashioned, but also not completely take over the drink. Pretty much any Prohibition-style drink is perfect for this bad boy. It’s a great excuse to wear Sherlock Holmes hats and suspenders and get drunk in your bathtub. That’s what they did in the bathtubs after making their moonshine, right? Never mind. Rye was the original ingredient in most Prohibition drinks, and was later substituted for bourbon. So take pride in knowing that you’re drinking a true American original.

Redemption Rye Whiskey also goes well full strempf, and especially if you enjoy the spice notes in your whiskey. We also noticed that drinking this whiskey on the rocks helps add some nice flavor once some of the ice melts. Surprisingly, this whiskey is pretty decent to take shots with if you’re feeling like a 1920-s era superman, but overall we definitely recommend making some badass Prohibition drinks with this stuff.

Flavor

Right off the bat, you get that rye spiciness. That spiciness lasts throughout the drink, and finishes with a pretty clean aftertaste. Big picture, this whiskey tastes like leather. Like if you’ve ever been in one of those weirdo leather stores, it pretty much tastes like that. Redemption Rye uses about 95% rye in this whiskey, and you can fucking tell. That spicy rye and some hidden balanced sweetness makes for a pretty great whiskey.

Wrap Up

We’re about two things here at Whiskey on the House: one is rye whiskey, and the other is not spending a shit load of money to have some good whiskey. This Redemption Rye really hits the mark on both counts. We highly recommend this stuff if you like to make your own drinks, but if you’re looking for strictly a sipping whiskey, this would only satisfy you if you’re a rye enthusiast because of the 95% rye content. Definitely pick up  a bottle of this stuff and make it a cornerstone of your home bar. Just don’t throw a Prohibition era party. Nobody likes those, and nobody likes you if you throw one.

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                         $25.00/ 750 mL

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Drunken Whiskey Review: Eagle Rare Bourbon Whiskey

Intro

You’ve probably seen Eagle Rare Bourbon at your local liquor store and/or at a bar recently. It’s god damn everywhere. And you know what else? You’ve probably done a quick hop over to the Google Machine to try and figure out if it’s any good. You’ve probably taken a gander at some websites reviewing this whiskey, and you’ve probably closed your browser with a scowel on your face. No, not because you’re just plain ugly and that’s your everyday resting ugly face, but because you haven’t read Whiskey on the House’s Drunken Whiskey Review of Eagle Rare Bourbon yet, dumbass. So pour yourself a glass if you have it in front of you, or if you’re in the liquor store right now trying to figure out whether or not to buy it, read on.

Eagle Rare is a Kentucky Straight Bourbon coming out of the Buffalo Trace Distillery, where it’s both distilled and bottled. It’s 90-proof, aged 10 years, and is relatively cheap at $30 bucks for a 750 mL bottle.

QUICK LIQUOR STORE ANSWER: Try it.

How to Drink It

Listen to me right here. Drink this shit full strempf or on the rocks or go the hell home. This whiskey is a lot like Gronk of the Pats. Looking at him, he’s fucking huge and powerful. Big dude. But then you see that he’s really just the guy giggling at someone saying “69” at the party somewhere, so you know he has a soft side. And what do the Patriots do with Gronk? Belichick tells him simple instructions and doesn’t try to overdo anything. “Gronk go up, gronk get ball, come down with ball, Gronk hug Brady. Got it, Gronk?” That’s a word for word excerpt from last week’s gameplan session. That’s exactly what Eagle Rare is. Fucking awesome at what it does, but don’t get fancy with it and mix it in a drink. Give it some ice or take it full strempf and you’ll be good to go. Ice and/or full strempf lets the power of this whiskey shine through without trying to make it in to something it’s not.

Flavor

Ok so this is going to sound real strange. But this whiskey tastes like the whiskey that I’d imagine farmers and other men’s men’s men drink on the ranch. Like the kind of whiskey that Uncle Bo pours out of something that looks like it should have flowers in it but instead it holds whiskey. It’s a wicked well-rounded whiskey. You first get hit in the face with the 90-proof, but then everything just kind of evens out. There’s nothing here that’s jumping out at you in a negative sense- it’s just good. And that power I was talking about before? It comes in the form of almost tasting like a rye, but without the edge of big time spiciness. If every single whiskey you’ve ever enjoyed fucked and had a kid, and then that kid grew up and learned how to distill whiskey on its own, that whiskey would be Eagle Rare Bourbon. And you’d have some weird probably mangled up looking whiskey child who likes to distill his own kind in a lab that would DEFINITELY be located on a farm. I was wondering how I was going to explain the fact that I said this whiskey tastes like it’s on a farm, and there it is. That’s professional get drunk and write whiskey reviews for ya.

Wrap Up

This is actually one of the few whiskies that I prefer drinking at a bar over drinking at home. Which is stupid because it’s always way, way cheaper to drink at your house, and that’s one of the major selling points of this whiskey. But I digress. Give this whiskey a try. I can definitely see how someone might drink this and think that it’s either boring or bland, but I don’t feel that way and I’m the one with the god damn website not you, buddy. Drink up.

 

Drunken Brew Review: Berkshire Oktoberfest Lager

Intro

That time of the year again, time to get drunk off of fall beers and write about em. If you’re anything like us, some of the Oktoberfest-style beers actually speak to you more than the usual “fall” kind of beers. I’d substitute the flavors of the more German style, caramel-y flavors over some of the more pumpkin pie flavors any day. Berkshire Beer Co is straight out of western, MA. Which if you’re from Boston, you classify as basically anything west of Waltham. They’re known for making solid craft beers that sell for an extremely reasonable price around here in MA, and for having a pretty kickass brewery.  This bad boy clocks in at 7.5% booze which is awesome, and needless to say, it’s only around in the fall. So let’s get the party started.

Flavor

Oktoberfest beers are just inherently hard to judge because they’re all trying to be the exact same thing. Personally I’m waiting to get drunk off of a beer that calls itself Oktoberfest but still tries to be different. So if you’re anything like me, you’re still going to be waiting for that “different” Oktoberfest after trying Berkshire’s offering. But Berkshire nails what it’s trying to go for mostly: a german oktoberfest that tastes like a regular German Oktoberfest. You know the flavors: malty, spice, earthiness, etc. All good shit, but again, nothing really stands out. Which puts a drunk reviewer between a rock and a hard place: be a dick and knock them points off for not reading your mind, or grade them off of what they were trying to be: a regular Oktoberfest. Well if you’ve read a sentence of this website before, you know I’m an asshole. So that’s points off from me. Now I will say the one amazing quality about this beer that sets it apart is the booze percentage. You definitely can NOT tell that it’s 7.5% Right when you drink it, you get a split second of insane flavors and intense alcohol hitting your tongue, and then it’s gone as fast as it arrived. You know another German who ruled hard and fast and then disappeared suddenly? Yeah you do. So that’s a pretty major swing in the right direction for this beer, I love beers that can pack an alcoholic punch without tasting like dirty dishwater.

How to Drink It

Now this is where it gets interesting. Because of the mix of the disappearing act of flavor, sneaky alcohol punch, and the fact that you can buy it for a reasonable price, I’m going to go ahead and say you should be drinking this as your Fall/ Halloween Party beer of choice. You can seriously get a nice buzz off the stuff all while staying in the holiday spirit. And because it doesn’t linger and is fairly light for an Oktoberfest, you can definitely play your regular drinking games with it. And if you happen to find yourself losing in a WWII-style beer pong game? Nevermind.

Wrap Up

So by now you’re probably kind of confused. On one hand, I like this shit because it’s kind of cheap and packs a punch. On the other hand, the flavor is a little bit disappointing and disappears from your mouth pretty quickly. So all in all I’d say this is an average and not extremely unique Oktoberfest, but it’s an above average and unique fall beer. Does that make sense? Probably not, but you read that we write these reviews when we’re drunk, right? So go ahead and buy some of this stuff when you have a party next time, and make all the Hitler jokes you want, because they’re a hit 100% of the time , unlike a certain German leaders’ missiles.

 

 

/ 10

~$7.00 / 22 oz

 

 

Drunken Brew Review: Foolproof Peanut Butter Raincloud

Intro

So now that it’s officially fall brew season, we’re kicking off our annual tradition like none other: getting drunk off of fall beers and writing reviews. This week’s contestant comes from the great incredibly mediocre state of Rhode Island, Foolproof Brewing’s Peanut Butter Raincloud. If you’re anything like me, your brain immediately starts thinking about Reesee’s cups when you hear the name of this beer. Encapsulates everything great about Halloween, and everyone knows the houses that hand out full-fledged Reesee’s cups (not the midget ones) are the absolute best. So needless to say we were pretty pumped about doing this review.

Now here’s my one issue with fall beers: most of them fucking suck. They’re usually just variations of the same core fall “flavors” of nutmeg, cinnamon, pumpkin, anthrax, etc. This beer is different. And it hits on something that everyone absolutely loves, and that’s peanut butter.

Flavor

The number 1 thing that shines through in this beer that you wouldnt know just by looking at it is that it’s an unbelievably good porter. Even if you take out the peanut butter flavor, it’s a rock solid porter. So it’s got all of the flavors in a good porter you can expect, but here’s the twist: the peanut butter is subtle as snot. You’d think by looking at the name and seeing the label that this shit is 95% peanut butter, but there’s actually a great balance that doesn’t make you feel like you’re drinking a reese’s cup. It’s very, very drinkable, and preps your mouth hole perfectly for ingesting some more booze. Actually my biggest complaint about this beer is that they lead you into thinking youre going to be drinking an actual peanut butter cup, and then you have this beer and realize how god damn moronic of an idea that is in the first place. If you like darker beers this is quite literally the perfect fall porter.

How to Drink It

Like I said, I think this beer is best for breaking up rounds of whiskey, or some higher-octane beers. You absolutely should not be playing drinking games with this, it’s best suited for sitting around with your buddies, having a good conversation, and physically torturing your friend who has a peanut allergy. And that is what brings me to my main point: everyone has a friend that no one fucking likes. For me it’s my marketing chief at Whiskey on the House. Can’t stand the guy. But you know what he has that I don’t have? A god damn peanut allergy. So throw a koozie on this beer and talk up how good it is as you slowly hand it to him, and bingo bango your problem is solved. That’s this beer’s secret weapon, drive away those losers in the world who are allergic to peanuts. I fullheartedly don’t believe anyone is actually allergic to peanuts. So if your loser friend is willing to lie to your face like that, you should be able to knowingly serve him peanut butter beer*.

Wrap Up

Do I love this beer? Yes. Do I love the flavors and ease of drinking? Yes. Do I love sneaky putting it under my “allergic” friend’s nose and watching his throat close up? Of course not. I don’t know why anyone had to bring allergies into this conversation, I’m just here to review a beer. That being said, this is an absolutely rock solid beer. It takes the fall flavors you love but doesn’t lombardi you in the face with them, it lets you enjoy your fall and your flannel shirts without being a hipster douchebag about it. I highly recommend this beer.

 

 

/10

 

 

*Whiskey on the House assumes zero responsibility for you having shitty friends

 

Drunken Brew Review: Narragansett Coffe Milk Stout

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Intro

Do you love iced coffee? Do you walk to Dunkin or wherever you go (besides Starbucks because fuck Starbucks) no matter how cold and shitty it is outside, and order an iced coffee every single time? Did you just answer those questions in your own head? Well guess what, pal, those were a little trick called rhetorical questions. Narragansett Coffee Milk Stout is pretty much an iced coffee with booze in it, and it’s unbelievably and undeniably awesome.

Color

Black. It looks like black coffee. Not much else to say. There’s a nice head of foam that comes when pouring it into a glass that closely resembles coffee with cream/milk in it. Are you getting the hint that this stuff tastes like coffee?

Flavor

Here we go. So much to your surprise, this beer tastes exactly like coffee. More specifically, it tastes like the perfect balance of coffee: not too bitter, not too sweet, and not overbearing. The flavor first hits you when you get some of the foam, it really eases you into the drink. When the meaty part of the beer hits your lips, that’s where you’re greeted with the finest tasting coffee this side of Colombia. This beer also lets you know that it’s a stout, but it’s not a dick about it. The theme of balance comes into play here as well, because it’s not overbearingly heavy, and it’s not water-like light, either. They did a great job of both balancing the flavor and the texture of this beer. I probably wouldn’t be able to have more than two of these in a row just because of the heartiness, but it feels perfect while you’re drinking it.

Wrap Up

Narragansett Coffee Milk Stout is one of the more balanced beers I’ve ever had. It’s easy to be balanced when you’re just making a regular, non-specifically flavored beer, but for something as hard to pull off as a coffee stout, they do an incredible job. It’s the perfect beer to have on a work lunch: you can lie to yourself saying that you’re just having a coffee to “get through the day,” and you’re just going to smell like coffee after drinking it. Making Darla from accounting say to herself “gee, that’s a goddamn winner right there. I’m going to show him my boobs later.” Or something like that.

Screen Shot 2014-06-11 at 6.25.23 PM $8.99/sixer (pints)

 

 

Drunken Whiskey Review: Woodstock Hot Licks Bourbon and Cinnamon Liqueur

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Intro

It takes a man to admit he was wrong. I spent a large chuck of my life believing that any type of cinnamon “whiskey” was the drink of college girls and men with hairless balls.

Woodstock Hot Licks Bourbon slapped me in the face with the dick of truth, and showed me that not all cinnamon whiskies are created equal.

How to Drink it

“I take motherfucking shots of this stuff every morning, noon, afternoon, tea time, evening, night – fuck I even take shots of this shit when I’m asleep. It gives me wet dreams. Its the fucking best fucking shit I’ve ever fucking had the opportunity to take fucking shots of. Fuck.” – Edgar Allan Poe.

 When I first read that quote from my dear friend Mr. Poe, I thought to myself “I need to get that tattooed on my balls”. So I did. Unfortunately, I ran out of sack halfway through the quote. Some might consider this a short sighted disaster, but I don’t. You see, as I grow older, my balls will hang lower. Every year or two I’ll have a little more sack to continue the quote. Mr. Poe may have passed, but he will continue to speak to me for years to come. My scrotum will act as a medium to connect me to the afterlife.
The moral of the story kids, is that this is the best whiskey for taking shots.

Flavor

You pour 1.5 ounces into your cheetah print shot glass that reads “sassy bitch”. As you raise the glass to closer to your face the strong cinnamon smell creeps up your nose and the erection is instant. As you close your eyes you breathe in, and toss the shot down your throat. The sweet and spicy taste is orgasmic. The cinnamon taste so real that you can almost taste the powdering of real cinnamon on your tongue; A phantom sensation you just can’t shake. But the honeymoon is over; You breathe out and wait for the kick…but it never comes. You open your eyes, surprised and pleased; Pouring yourself another, you remember why you’re so intoxicated this early in the night.

Wrap Up

What in the house of fucks.

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Drunken Brew Review: Lord Hobo Brewing Company Boomsauce IPA

Intro

Ok. We need to kick this drunken review off by addressing the absurd names being thrown around in the headline there. Let’s start with the brewery themselves. Lord Hobo. Comes in hot, forces you to buy pretty much anything they’re putting out. It also happens to be quite the interesting google search, especially when you forget to put the keyword “brewery” in at the end. Lord Hobo Brewing Company hails from the greatest state in the country, Massachusetts. Apparently it’s run by a guy named Daniel Lanigan, who used to be a bar owner but now is dabbling in the fine art of brewing. He’s opened and established several great bars in Boston and also in Baltimore, and now he’s running a gigantic brewery out of Woburn, MA, and this Boomsauce IPA is his flagship brew. So yes, we did buy this beer solely because of it’s name. But your third grade teacher who told you not to judge a book by its cover also told you that picking your nose in public is wrong. And we all know that’s the stupidest shit we’ve ever heard. So let’s get into it.

How to Drink It

To be completely honest, Lord Hobo Boomsauce IPA is really one of those beers that should be drank at a bar and at a bar only. Ordering this on tap and having it in a real glass brings out the ridiculous flavors that are going on in it. Pretty much your 1 way to go here. But 1A is definitely to buy it at a packie (that means liquor store) in the tall boy cans. The cans themselves along with this IPAs astounding drinkability will allow you to drink this bad boy while playing some low-key drinking games. Think card games, something along the lines of the lovingly named “Fuck the Dealer” or “Irish Poker” or something like “Horserace.” Or if you’re playing any kind of video game drinking game (we recommend Mario Party). The bottom line is this: there’s enough of a flavor depth to want to drink this at a bar and enjoy it, but it’s drinkable enough and high enough in alcohol, 7.4%, to help you out in your pre-game this weekend.

Flavors

Lord Hobo Boomsauce IPA takes all the normal flavors you’d think about in an IPA: hops, floral, bitterness, and seemingly runs it through a filter. Don’t get me wrong, I have no idea what or how they do it, but it tastes like it’s purified somehow. Makes some other IPAs taste like tap water while you’re drinking bottled. Which is what leads me to the main point: it’s fucking drinkable. If you read our reviews often, we like to get drunk. This means that when we have some of these high-octane IPAs that fill you up after six sips, we don’t like it, because that means we cannot get drunk off of it. So when an IPA comes along that lends itself to normal drinking, let’s just say there’s some movement in the pants area. Only other flavors to add is a scent of pine and an amazing aftertaste. You know that the brewer’s homebrewing background really comes out in spades with this Lord Hobo Boomsauce IPA.

To keep it fair, the only negatives I can find with this beer is the price itself. It’s definitely overpriced at $15.00 for a 4 pack, but let’s hope this gigantic brewery can help lower the costs down a bit in the future. Other than that, if you don’t like strong IPAs than you shouldn’t be drinking this. If you do, we think you’ll love the drinkability and the flavor depth.

Wrap Up

Lord Hobo Brewing Company is a well-named brewery that seems to have a bright future ahead of it. And when they came up with the name “Boomsauce” for their IPA, let’s just say they had a lot to live up to. And they did. If they can work on lowering their price, the sky seems to be the limit for this beer and the brewery itself. Great brew.

 

Drunken Brew Review: Victory Brewing HopDevil IPA

Intro

 

HopDevil is an American IPA brewed by Victory Brewing Company out of PA. Apparently Victory uses some hop-press machine that squeezes all the flavor out of their hops, almost like a French Press but for drunks. It clocks in at 6.7% ABV and 50 IBUs. To be completely honest, we only wanted to try this brew out for a couple basic reasons: 1) we love IPAs 2) we love satan. Victory Brewing offers a good amount of beers, most notably for me their Belgian style “monkey beer” (I have no idea what it’s called but it has a monkey with I think 14 paws on it so it’s awesome). So here we go.

 

 

The Pour

First of all, if you’re not drinking HopDevil IPA in a glass you should find the nearest bridge and walk backwards off of it. I swear to you it tastes like a completely different beer when you drink it out of the glass compared to out of the bottle. The foam layer that comes out is moderately thick, and does a nice job of sticking to the glass as you down it. And more importantly, the foam tastes fucking delicious. Since we haven’t done a beer review in quite some time, I will reiterate: if you actually care about the pour of your beer you’re an asshole, we’re just letting you know how to get the most out of this brew. So let’s get to what really matters: the flavor.

Flavor

HopDevil IPA fills your nozzle with scents of flowers and citrus before you take a sip. Which is awesome. Once you take a gulp, though, that’s pretty much where the awesome stops for me. The flavor profile is as follows: citrus (think orange, grapefruit, lemon, orange peel, etc), soap, and floral flavors from the hops. You may have missed it, but there’s one flavor in that profile that kind of sort of stands out. The aftertaste really hits on that soapy flavor, and that’s something that flat out confused my mouth. Is this the devil finally washing my mouth out with soap for not praising his name enough? Luckily these flavors disappear pretty quickly, but all that means is that there isn’t much depth to the beer itself. It actually tastes more like a light IPA, which is bullshit. I get it, I deserve to get my mouth cleaned out with soap, but that plus alcohol has a strange punisher-rapey vibe to it, and that’s not exactly what I’m looking for in a beer. I mean it’s close, but not quite there.

 

Wrap Up

Victory HopDevil IPA just screams “meh.” It’s nothing special. Does it deserve to have (hail) Satan on the label? Absolutely not. But does it deserve a shot? Yes absolutely. So go ahead, try this guy out, but maybe try it as a single brew, because I don’t think I’ll be drinking the other five in my sixer. Maybe I’ll consider them a sacrifice to the one and only S-Dawg.

$11.99/sixer

Drunken Whiskey Review: Old Overholt Rye Whiskey

       Intro

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I’ll never forget the first time I had Old Overholt. I originally bought it because it was cheap, rye, and had a weird picture of George Washington (I think?) on the label.  Little did I know that this whiskey is the dark horse of all dark horses.  Absolutely do not be fooled by the $20/liter price tag, because this shit is absolutely legit. Through the years it sticks with you, as I’m finding that it’s carried by more and more packies, it’s a great go-to for parties and more.

 

 How To Drink It

This is an extremely balanced whiskey, meaning it’s good in almost any setting, but I think it really is best for cocktails. Old fashioneds, whiskey sours, manhattans, etc. This whiskey does’t just hold its weight in cocktails, it really amplifies the flavor while still giving you that bite you want out of a rye. Drinking it full strength tastes like a mixed drink itself because there are so many flavors going on, but taking a shot of this may burn your throat off/send you into a Patriotic American coma.

 

Flavor

You gotta love the flavor of this whiskey, even without considering the price. It goes down nice and smooth but lets you know it’s a pure American Rye with every sip. It is not at all harsh, but it’s also not a pussy rye drink (looking at you, JP). There’s a hint of corn that comes with the aftertaste, but all in all it makes you feel like George Washington drinking freedom. I know I just said that it’s best for cocktails, but this shit stands on its own when you drink it straight up or on the rocks.

 

First Words: Spice. City.

Overall Old Overholt is officially my go-to rye whiskey when I can find it in the store. It’s cheap, mixes great, and tastes perfect full strength or over ice. And to top it all off, you get a liter of it so it will last you that much longer (or get you that much more fucked up).

Wrap Up

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Drunken Whiskey Review: High West Double Rye

 

Intro

Screen Shot 2014-08-14 at 6.21.25 PMWe review a lot of Rye Whiskies here at Whiskey on the House because….well they are
fucktastic. But I have never tried a rye whiskey like High West Double Rye. I got it as a gift for my birthday and my tastebuds and liver were forever changed. High West Blends to completely different rye whiskies (one is only aged 2 years but with 95%rye and 5% barley – the other is aged 16 years with 53% rye and 37% corn) to give your mouth a blast of spicy sweetness

How to Drink it

I don’t think I’ve ever had a whiskey better for cocktails than High West Double Rye. Theres a lot of variety in spice in this whiskey so it can really go well in any mixed drink but the High West Distillery highly recommends Manhattans. This is whiskey is strong and bold enough to drink perfectly on the rocks as well. Taking shots of this bad larry might be a bit harsh, but fuck, I’d do it anyway.

Flavor

I was going to relate the variety and complexity of flavor in this rye to that “It’s a small world” ride at Disney World…but then I realized – fuck that. I hate that ride. I can’t understand what kind of shitbag would actually like it. It’s the same six words over, and over, and over again. And you go around real slow in some dinky boat and you see all these creepy dolls, of all different races, doing their little mechanical dances. You know they are just robots, but you swear you see one looking at you. It’s the mexican one. And he pulls out a knife and whispers “I’m gona cut you in your sleep ese”. No one else hears it but you. You try to tell your grandma, but she doesn’t listen because your just a little kid. But you saw what you saw and you dread the night paco sneaks up on you and fulfills his robotic promise.

Anyway, the mix of the two different rye whiskies is what gives High West Double Rye its unique flavor. You’re really getting two complete opposite worlds of flavor; With the 2 year 95% rye giving you the harsh extreme spicy flavor, and the 16 year 53% rye 37% corn giving you the smooth sweet flavor. The two ryes flank your tastebuds into spicy sweet surrender.

First words: NOO NOO NOO NOT THE MECHANICAL MEXICAN BOY ROBOT NOOOOO

Wrap UP

Despite triggering suppressed childhood memories,High West Double Rye is still the best rye I’ve had as of yet

 

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