You’ve probably seen Eagle Rare Bourbon at your local liquor store and/or at a bar recently. It’s god damn everywhere. And you know what else? You’ve probably done a quick hop over to the Google Machine to try and figure out if it’s any good. You’ve probably taken a gander at some websites reviewing this whiskey, and you’ve probably closed your browser with a scowel on your face. No, not because you’re just plain ugly and that’s your everyday resting ugly face, but because you haven’t read Whiskey on the House’s Drunken Whiskey Review of Eagle Rare Bourbon yet, dumbass. So pour yourself a glass if you have it in front of you, or if you’re in the liquor store right now trying to figure out whether or not to buy it, read on.
Eagle Rare is a Kentucky Straight Bourbon coming out of the Buffalo Trace Distillery, where it’s both distilled and bottled. It’s 90-proof, aged 10 years, and is relatively cheap at $30 bucks for a 750 mL bottle.
QUICK LIQUOR STORE ANSWER: Try it.
How to Drink It
Listen to me right here. Drink this shit full strempf or on the rocks or go the hell home. This whiskey is a lot like Gronk of the Pats. Looking at him, he’s fucking huge and powerful. Big dude. But then you see that he’s really just the guy giggling at someone saying “69” at the party somewhere, so you know he has a soft side. And what do the Patriots do with Gronk? Belichick tells him simple instructions and doesn’t try to overdo anything. “Gronk go up, gronk get ball, come down with ball, Gronk hug Brady. Got it, Gronk?” That’s a word for word excerpt from last week’s gameplan session. That’s exactly what Eagle Rare is. Fucking awesome at what it does, but don’t get fancy with it and mix it in a drink. Give it some ice or take it full strempf and you’ll be good to go. Ice and/or full strempf lets the power of this whiskey shine through without trying to make it in to something it’s not.
Ok so this is going to sound real strange. But this whiskey tastes like the whiskey that I’d imagine farmers and other men’s men’s men drink on the ranch. Like the kind of whiskey that Uncle Bo pours out of something that looks like it should have flowers in it but instead it holds whiskey. It’s a wicked well-rounded whiskey. You first get hit in the face with the 90-proof, but then everything just kind of evens out. There’s nothing here that’s jumping out at you in a negative sense- it’s just good. And that power I was talking about before? It comes in the form of almost tasting like a rye, but without the edge of big time spiciness. If every single whiskey you’ve ever enjoyed fucked and had a kid, and then that kid grew up and learned how to distill whiskey on its own, that whiskey would be Eagle Rare Bourbon. And you’d have some weird probably mangled up looking whiskey child who likes to distill his own kind in a lab that would DEFINITELY be located on a farm. I was wondering how I was going to explain the fact that I said this whiskey tastes like it’s on a farm, and there it is. That’s professional get drunk and write whiskey reviews for ya.
This is actually one of the few whiskies that I prefer drinking at a bar over drinking at home. Which is stupid because it’s always way, way cheaper to drink at your house, and that’s one of the major selling points of this whiskey. But I digress. Give this whiskey a try. I can definitely see how someone might drink this and think that it’s either boring or bland, but I don’t feel that way and I’m the one with the god damn website not you, buddy. Drink up.