It takes a man to admit he was wrong. I spent a large chuck of my life believing that any type of cinnamon “whiskey” was the drink of college girls and men with hairless balls.
Woodstock Hot Licks Bourbon slapped me in the face with the dick of truth, and showed me that not all cinnamon whiskies are created equal.
How to Drink it
“I take motherfucking shots of this stuff every morning, noon, afternoon, tea time, evening, night – fuck I even take shots of this shit when I’m asleep. It gives me wet dreams. Its the fucking best fucking shit I’ve ever fucking had the opportunity to take fucking shots of. Fuck.” – Edgar Allan Poe.
When I first read that quote from my dear friend Mr. Poe, I thought to myself “I need to get that tattooed on my balls”. So I did. Unfortunately, I ran out of sack halfway through the quote. Some might consider this a short sighted disaster, but I don’t. You see, as I grow older, my balls will hang lower. Every year or two I’ll have a little more sack to continue the quote. Mr. Poe may have passed, but he will continue to speak to me for years to come. My scrotum will act as a medium to connect me to the afterlife.
The moral of the story kids, is that this is the best whiskey for taking shots.
You pour 1.5 ounces into your cheetah print shot glass that reads “sassy bitch”. As you raise the glass to closer to your face the strong cinnamon smell creeps up your nose and the erection is instant. As you close your eyes you breathe in, and toss the shot down your throat. The sweet and spicy taste is orgasmic. The cinnamon taste so real that you can almost taste the powdering of real cinnamon on your tongue; A phantom sensation you just can’t shake. But the honeymoon is over; You breathe out and wait for the kick…but it never comes. You open your eyes, surprised and pleased; Pouring yourself another, you remember why you’re so intoxicated this early in the night.
What in the house of fucks.